Welcome Prosperity in Your Life

"Learn to get what you really want
and love the things you already have"

You can not create prosperity by thinking or talking about your lack of money.  Focussing on what you lack, simply attracts more lack. Remember it is one of the principle Laws of Attraction that what we focus on grows. If we focus on what we lack, we simply attract more of the same. However, if we focus our thoughts and attention on the positive, like being grateful for the things we already have, then we will attract more of what we want. In fact gratitude is one of the keys to achieving real prosperity.

What is Prosperity

Prosperity means different things to different people, for some it is monetary and material things, for others it is spiritual and emotional issues. True prosperity comes from achieving balance at all levels, spiritual, mental, emotional and physical. I believe true prosperity is having your innermost needs and desires met at all levels  and being able to fully enjoy them. Prosperity is something you experience in your mind and thoughts, it is not an external state and it is therefore quite possible to experience prosperity at any level of income.

Prosperity is an internal experience, not an external state

Instead of thinking about the money, just close your eyes for a moment and think of the things you most want in your life, on all levels, write them down if you want. For you, true prosperity would be to have all those things and to be able to fully enjoy them.  We need to discover, at our deepest and most honest level,what we want for ourselves.

Our relationship with Money

We often start out trying to get money to achieve a desired goal, but as time goes by the money becomes the goal and the dream is left forgotten.

"when money becomes the goal, the dream is left forgotten"

Not everyone is destined or even well suited to having vast amounts of money, but I do believe everyone deserves to, and can be prosperous. Money empowers us to obtain and do things in our physical world, but if some of your inner most needs and desires are things that money can't buy, then no amount of money is going to make you feel prosperous. In fact large amounts of money often brings unexpected problems, making life more complicated, increasing your financial responsibilities and demanding a higher level of financial management, that you might not want. Did you know that after two years, most lottery winners have lost  nearly all the money they received, with nothing to show for it and are often worse off financially? The problem with any windfall like this is that it rarely solves any problems. If you have not resolved the negative internal beliefs you hold about money or yourself, then often when you receive such a windfall, subconsciously you simply don't believe you deserve it. And with such a negative belief. the subconscious gets busy correcting the situation until you have the amount of money you believe you deserve.

What are your beliefs about money? How did your parents feel about it and what did they teach you? It is worth taking a moment to really think about this, write things down if you want to. It is a fact that many of our negative beliefs come from our childhoods and if you received messages like, "Money is really hard to come by" or  "blood, sweat and tears is the only way to get rich", these are very negative thoughts. They are effectively negative affirmations that you will continue to achieve, until you identify them, let them go and replace them with a positive affirmation.

If you are experiencing financial or debt problems please finish this page and then visit this site for advice on managing money, getting out of debt and getting the right mortgage.

Attracting unlimited Abundance

Our world is infinitely abundant and we all deserve our share of that abundance, all we have to do is be prepared to accept it. However the reality is that at a subconscious level many of us simply do not believe that we deserve the prosperity that we seek. This often manifests from other underlying issues such as low self-esteem, fearfulness, guilt or any number of other negative beliefs. In order to achieve true prosperity, it is necessary to identify and release these underlying negative beliefs. Remember our external reality mirrors our internal beliefs, how we think the world is for us becomes our reality. By changing your inner thinking you can change your external reality.

changing your inner thinking, can change
your external reality

Prosperity Action List

Here are some key actions you can do to bring unlimited abundance into your life..

Identify what your core needs and desires are

This is where you must really take the time to get to know your authentic self. Use "quiet time" and meditation to help you clarify what is really important to you and why. Knowing what you seek, is half the way to actually achieving it.

Identify any blocks to your deservability

As you say your affirmations, or when you think around money, it is likely that you may experience negative reactions. If you say something positive, but inside your thinking NOT! then you know that there is an issue there that must have further attention. Once you have identified a block, spend time re-examining your beliefs and experiences around it, try to identify trigger events or influences. Ask yourself if these beliefs are really true for you, now. When you are ready just release those negative thoughts.

Sometimes, if you have identified a serious block, that has a strong emotional impact on you, or is based on some trauma in the past, it is best to seek a therapist or councillor to help you through your issue, so that you can let it go and move on to your prosperity.

Identify your true beliefs about money

Such beliefs usually but not always come from childhood. What are your beliefs about money? Also, think about the things your parents taught you about money when you were growing up. What feelings about money did you experience. Write everything down. Then examine if these beliefs are actually true for you now. If they are negative, you must re-examine the belief and release it, replacing it with a positive, prosperous thought.

Affirmations for your prosperity

Here is a great one by Louise Hay to get you started. Once a day, stand with your arms wide open and say with joy...

"I am open and receptive to all the good and abundance in the Universe, Thank you, Life."

Remember, everything you say and think is an affirmation. Be aware of your words and your thoughts, keep them positive. Acknowledge and release any negative thoughts that come up.

Become truly honest

What ever you take from life, life will take from you. You must avoid any form of dis-honesty. This can actually be really hard, because I don't just mean the obvious things, but also little things, like not being honest with your change if the sales assistant has made a mistake, or borrowing little items from the office. Or maybe you stealing time or relationships or respect from others. All these things count, its like saying to yourself... I don't deserve the good  in life, so I'll sneak around and take it.

Gratitude

Thinking negatively about the things you want is what is called "poverty thinking". To achieve your prosperity you must release this thinking. Instead, start "Prosperity Thinking". Look around in your life, everywhere you will find both big and little things to be grateful for, people you know, little events that put a smile on your face, your children, money you receive.... our lives are full of abundance already, but often we choose to ignore it. You will never attract more abundance into your life if you disregard what you already have. So every day set just a small amount of time aside to think about and be grateful for all the good things you already have in your life, by cherishing and focussing on the good things you have, you will attract even more into your life. It is simple but true.

Start Now!

You only have power now. Choose to start implementing your Prosperity Action List Now! Change can be difficult... even frightening to some. So we have put together some free resources that you can use to get you started as well as some low cost products to support and assist in your process of change.

Affirmations for Prosperity

Learn more about the positive power of affirmations and other supporting techniques in our affirmations page. But to help you get started here are a couple more positive affirmations designed to help with prosperity, especially for you.

"I am honest and open with myself and others"

"I love life and accept my abundance unconditionally"

Check out this video link on You Tube: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHyebss0zvw&feature=player_embedded 

Courtesy: http://www.vitalaffirmations.com

UNIVERSAL TEACHINGS OF SRI RAMAKRISHNA

SEE GOD IN ALL

I have now come to a stage of realization in which I see that God is walking in every human form and manifesting Himself alike through the sage and the sinner, the virtuous and the vicious. Therefore when I meet different people I say to myself, "God in the form of the saint, God in the form of the sinner, God in the form of the righteous, God in the form of the unrighteous."

GOD IS WITHIN YOU

Do you know what I see? I see Him as all. Men and other creatures appear to me only as hollow forms, moving their heads and hands and feet, but within is the Lord Himself.

PERSEVERE IN YOUR SEARCH FOR GOD

There are pearls in the deep sea, but one must hazard all to find them. If diving once does not bring you pearls, you need not therefore conclude that the sea is without them. Dive again and again. You are sure to be rewarded in the end. So is it with the finding of the Lord in this world. If your first attempt proves fruitless, do not lose heart. Persevere in your efforts. You are sure to realize Him at last.

TRUST COMPLETELY IN GOD

What are you to do when you are placed in the world? Give up everything to Him, resign yourself to Him, and there will be no more trouble for you. Then you will come to know that everything is done by His will.

LOVE OF GOD IS ESSENTIAL

Unalloyed love of God is the essential thing. All else is unreal.

Courtesy: http://www.ramakrishna.org/

Ways to Be Happy

Vlad Rapoport

As the cold Pacific storms crossed the skies above my Northern California home, I found myself deep in a rot. This condition caught me off guard because I had no particular reason to feel this way. I’m usually a pretty happy guy. As a result, I began questioning the whole origin of happiness, down to what makes us happy?

This quest of mine wasn’t going very well. Ah, sitting around trying to figure out the timeless questions! As a matter a fact, it was making me feel even worse. What if I’ll never be able to figure it out, I wondered. Clearly I just needed more time to contemplate.

At that very moment, my thoughts were interrupted by a doorbell. My next door neighbor stopped by to ask me for a hand in his yard. I reluctantly agreed. After all, what could be more important than pondering life’s greatest mysteries? Lazily, I assisted him with his work in hope of quickly returning back to my thoughts.

However the work gradually drew me in, and I found myself actually starting to enjoy it. The thoughts which clouded my mind most of the day dissipated. My attention was now entirely in the moment. As my mind became clear of thoughts, I found myself at peace and happy!

A few hours later, as work came to an end, my body cried with fatigue, while my heart celebrated the satisfaction of the accomplishment. Suddenly I broke out in laughter, realizing that once again life taught me a valuable lesson!

I was standing in the yard covered in sweat and dirt, with a grin on my face. I saw that happiness cannot be the direct goal in itself. Happiness can only be achieved as the result of other actions. One does not wake up in the morning claiming happiness as the day’s goal. Happiness and joy are born from love, compassion and benevolence.

Happiness Through Giving

There is a beautiful energy emanating from offering service and giving. This energy is expansive. It stimulates others to continue the gift of giving. Offer selfless service and giving, without any expectation of a reward. The rewards is in the act of giving itself.

Giving, does not have to be limited to material objects in nature. It can be through giving of your time and attention. Offering comfort, listening and supporting, are all gifts that are much needed and appreciated. It is only when we offer ourselves to others, can we experience true happiness and satisfaction.

Happiness Through Acceptance

In terms of happiness, acceptance plays two roles. The first, is the general acceptance of your life for what it is. It’s having what the Buddhism refers to as “the beginners mind”. It’s the practice of acceptance that is devoid of judgement and criticism. In order to be happy, let go of the control, and trust in the Higher Power to guide you to your destiny.

The second role is to practice acceptance of the gifts that are offered to you. It’s to understand the cycle of giving and receiving. Giving is a form of energy. If the gift is denied, the energy associated with the spirit of that gift is also blocked. For it to be fully effective, the gift must be received and reciprocated.

Happiness Through Detachment

Detachment has been practiced in ancient cultures for a millennia, and it leads us to freedom from ourselves. Attaching our emotions to an outcome of an event, will only lead to disappointment. Practice healthy detachment. Keep in mind that letting go, is much more rewarding than accumulating. This includes detachment from objects, outcomes and emotions.

Happiness Through Peace

The state of happiness is undoubtedly a powerful, uplifting emotion. It is however of impermanent nature, as are all strong emotions. I would much rather live a lifetime in a state of peace, than experience moments of intense happiness alternated with sorrow. Engage in activities such as meditation to calm down the mind and develop a peaceful state of being.

In Conclusion

I find that love, acceptance and giving, are the paths that lead to happiness. Happiness is the culmination of these qualities, and not their cause. If you’re looking for happiness, then you need to engage in creating the environment that will lead you to it. To summarize it, put happy in, get happy out!

Source: TOI Blogs

The story of Ganesha, the remover of obstacles

Thus spake Sage Narada extolling the virtues of Lord Ganesha:

Vidyarthee labhate vidyam
Dhanarthee labhate dhanam
Putrarthee labhate putram
Moksharthee labhate gatim

(One who seeks education acquires it, 
one who aspires material wealth gains it 
one who desires progeny begets it 
one who seeks salvation attains it...)

No wonder that Ganesha is the venerated and propitiated deity of the Hindu pantheon. Reputed to be the remover of obstacles, no fresh venture whether it is the building of a new house, the writing of a book, the beginning of a journey or the starting of a new business is undertaken without first seeking Ganesha's blessings.

He is also known as the God of wisdom and prudence; this is exemplified by his two wives, Riddhi and Siddhi. His knowledge of the scriptures is legendary. When Vyasa Dev, the author of the great epic Mahabharata  was  looking for someone who could pen his thoughts in a clean hand, without breaking stride, he turned to Ganesha, who in turn stipulated that the diction should never falter. Thus the legend goes the largest epic in the world came into existence.

The story goes that Shiva and Parvati were leading an idyllic life at Mount Kailash . The only hitch in the entire proceedings was that Shiva used to disappear for meditations leaving Parvati very lonely. She prayed to Lord Vishnu to grant her a boon, which the Lord happily obliged. Ganesha was a very beautiful child and all the Gods came to bless him.

Only Shani Dev, his maternal uncle, failed to make an appearance for he was cursed that if he looks at anybody, his head would be instantly dismembered. When Parvati insisted, much to his reluctance he gazed upon Ganesha's visage and to his horror found his nephew's head get torn away from the body.

Lord Vishnu tried to remedy the situation. On the foothills of Mount Kailash, he found an elephant and immediately beheaded the creature and imposed the pachyderm's head onto Ganesha's body. Parvati was dismayed at the entire proceedings. In order to alleviate her sorrow at her son's mutilated head, Shiva granted his son, Ganesha, a boon that his presence will be invariably invoked whenever any new undertaking is carried out.

Ever since then Ganesha has been worshipped as Vinayak (knowledgeable) and Vighneshwer (remover of obstacles). He blesses those who meditate upon him.

Courtesy: Ganeshaspeaks.com 

How much is enough?

Vinita Dawra Nangia

Not many of us are aware of what is enough to make us happy. In our dizzily consumerist culture, we make ourselves miserable in the pursuit of more than enough without pausing to think of what we really need

They say the right time to stop eating is just before your stomach is full, because it takes a while for the stomach’s message of satiation to reach the brain. So, if you wait till you feel full, you will already have eaten more than what was enough for you. If you are smart, you will be able to figure out that the right time to stop is while still hungry. If only Deputy Collector Nitish Thakur had heeded that message, he may not have found himself become a shining statistic on our country’s ever-burgeoning corruption stakes — one of the biggest graft catches in India ever!

Thirty-six properties and assets worth 118 cr, 10 luxury cars…. Come on, how much does a man need? When we were kids, a game of Ludo, a carom board, a set of playing cards and some playing dough seemed good enough entertainment. Today, the best battery-operated toys, gizmos and games are acquired from around the world only to be outdated the moment new stuff gets launched. Xbox seemed good enough till Xbox 360 was announced. The iPod, iPad, laptop, car, and TV are all enough only till slightly more updated versions are launched. In a dizzily consumerist culture, we are not allowed to feel satisfied, and are conditioned to want more, no matter what we already have. And that ‘more’ always exceeds ‘enough’. The problem is that we allow a hyper-consumerist culture to dictate our needs and definition of enough. It is important to understand that what is enough for one person may just be the first milestone in the journey of desire for another.

Why covet what another has when you may have no need for it? So then how do you know what is enough for you? Just the bare necessities of life? Food, shelter, clothing stabilise things enough to make us reach for something beyond, which marks the difference between existing and living. In order to live well and be on top of life, you need that extra something. That X-factor varies from person to person.

For one it could be money, for another travel, for yet another, the challenge of forming and running a business. A sense of adventure may attract some, while others may be charmed by the idea of a life of meditative calm — reading, thinking, writing, interacting with friends and loved ones. But the end result everyone seeks by aiming at ‘enough’ is the same — happiness.

When you have what you deem is enough, the one thing it will make you is happy. Or, so you think. So when you keep shifting your goal post of ‘enough’, you also keep shifting back the time when you will be happy and satisfied. How do we decide what is enough? This can be best done backwards, starting with the end result. Once the basic needs are taken care of, think about what makes you really happy? And in order to be in that space, what do you really need — money, space and time for yourself ? People around you? Helping those less fortunate? Some talent or skill? Are you earning as much as you need or pushing yourself to get more than ‘enough’? What for? If you were to give up that extra shove and instead, spend that time to pursue what makes you really happy, would your life be better? After all, it would be silly to love money for the sake of it?

Are you aware of what you are pursuing all that money for? What do you want it to do for you?

Remember Leo Tolstoy’s popular Russian story “How much land does a man need?” Pahom, a peasant dies exhausted in pursuit of his dream of owning large areas of land. He is rich finally, but now all the land he needs -- is a six-foot long grave!

Courtesy: The Sunday Times of India

जीने की कला ने पहुंचाया शीर्ष पर

प्रकाश हिन्दुस्तानी

सरलता श्री श्री रविशंकर की सबसे बड़ी पूँजी है। यही थाती उन्हें नागरिक समाज से लेकर संत समाज में समान रूप से आदर व सम्मान का पात्र बनाती है। हमारे दौर में जब कभी भी कोई संकट राष्ट्र व मानवता के सामने खड़ा हुआ, श्री श्री उसका हल तलाशने में जुट गए। फिलहाल लोकपाल मसले पर अपनी सक्रियता के लिए वह सुर्खियों में हैं।

रवि शंकर रत्नम समाजसेवी अन्ना हजारे के समर्थक और सहयोगी हैं। वह महर्षि महेश योगी के शिष्य थे। उन्होंने 26 साल की उम्र में 1982 में आर्ट ऑफ लिविंग की स्थापना की थी। आज इसकी शाखाएं 152 देशों में है। वर्ष 2010 में प्रतिष्ठित पत्रिका फोर्ब्स ने उन्हें भारत का पांचवां सबसे प्रभावशाली व्यक्ति बताया था। उन्होंने दलाई लामा के साथ जेनेवा में भी एक संस्था खोली है, जो गरीबों की मदद करती है। सितार वादक रवि शंकर ने एक बार उन पर आरोप लगाया था कि योगी रवि शंकर उनकी ख्याति का लाभ उठा रहे हैं, तब उनके शिष्यों ने उन्हें ‘श्री श्री रवि शंकर’ नाम दिया। अपने शिष्यों में वह ‘श्री श्री’ के नाम से ही पहचाने जाते हैं। उनकी संस्थाएं करोड़ों रुपये सेवा कार्यों पर खर्च करती हैं।
गंगा-यमुना के सफाई अभियान से भी श्री श्री जुड़े रहे हैं। योग क्रिया ‘सुदर्शन क्रिया’ को आजमाकर उसके माध्यम से लाखों लोगों को प्रभावित करने वाले ‘श्री श्री’ की सफलता के कुछ सूत्र:

बचपन को मत भूलो
आप कितने भी बड़े हो जाएं, मगर अपने बचपन को न भूलें। बचपन की सहजता, मासूमियत और ईमानदारी को कलेजे से लगाए रखें। इससे आप हमेशा तनावमुक्त और अपनत्व से भरे रह सकते हैं। श्री श्री अब भी अपने आप को बच्चा ही कहते हैं। ऐसा बच्चा, जो शरीर से बड़ा हो चुका है, लेकिन मन से पूरी तरह निश्छल है। अगर बचपन की कोई कटुता मन में है, तो उसे निकाल देने में ही भलाई होती है। अपने बचपन को याद करने के अलावा आप अपने आसपास के बच्चों से भी बहुत कुछ सीख सकते हैं।

सहजता ही अध्यात्म है
श्री श्री कहते हैं, मैंने जीवन में कुछ भी ऐसा नहीं किया है, जो सहज नहीं है या बनावटी है। बनावटीपन और आडंबर तो बोझ की तरह होते हैं, जिन्हें ढोना पड़ता है। मेरे लिए सहज रहना अध्यात्म का ही एक अंग है। यही मेरी जीवन शैली है। मैं सहज और सरल जीवन जीता हूं और इसी में खुश हूं। मेरी सलाह पर हजारों लोगों ने जीवन जीने का यही मार्ग चुना है और वे सभी इससे खुश हैं।

यथार्थ को स्वीकारें
सहज-सरल जीवन जीने का तरीका यह है कि ‘एक्सेप्ट द सिचुएशन एज इट इज।’ इसका मतलब यह नहीं है कि आप गलत बातों का समर्थन करें, बल्कि इसका अर्थ यह है कि आप गलत बात की तह में जाने की कोशिश करें और उसे दूर करें। अगर आप किसी समस्या में फंस गए हैं, तो वहीं रहना यथार्थ नहीं है, बल्कि आप हालात को समझकर समस्या से निजात पाएं, तो आप ज्यादा सहज जीवन जी सकते हैं।

हंसो, पर फंसो मत
हमेशा हंसने यानी प्रसन्न रहने की दशा तभी आ सकती है, जब आप कहीं भी फंसे न हों। हमेशा विवादों से दूर रहने की कोशिश करनी चाहिए। अगर विवाद की दशा आ ही जाए, तो जितनी जल्दी हो सके, उससे बाहर निकालने की कोशिश करें। अपनी ऊर्जा का हमेशा सकारात्मक उपयोग आप तभी कर सकते हैं, जब आप तनावरहित और प्रसन्नचित्त हों।

शाश्वत कुछ भी नहीं

जीवन का कोई भी नियम शाश्वत नहीं है। दूध पीना अच्छा होता है, पर हमेशा अच्छा नहीं। कई रोगी दूध पीकर और बड़े रोगी हो सकते हैं। जहर किसी की जान ले सकता है, लेकिन जहर से ही कई जीवन रक्षक दवाइयां बनती हैं। डीडीटी का आविष्कार करने वाले वैज्ञानिक को नोबेल प्राइज दिया गया था, आज डीडीटी दुनिया के अधिकांश देशों में प्रतिबंधित है। कोई भी बात हर व्यक्ति के लिए और हर काल में अच्छी ही हो, यह जरूरी नहीं। इसलिए बात-बात पर शोक मनाना अच्छी आदत नहीं है।

मुफ्त कुछ भी नहीं

प्रकृति ने हमें हमारी सबसे बहुमूल्य वस्तु मुफ्त में दी है ऑक्सीजन, लेकिन हम उसका मोल कहां समझ पाते हैं? कोई भी वस्तु मुफ्त में दो, तो उसका महत्व लोग नहीं समझते, इसलिए शुल्क लेना जरूरी है, और उस आय से वही वस्तु उन लोगों को मुफ्त उपलब्ध कराना जरूरी है, जिसकी उन्हें सख्त जरूरत हो। यह व्यवसाय नहीं, समाज का हित करने के लिए है। इसीलिएं ‘आर्ट ऑफ लिविंग’ के लिए शुल्क रखा गया है।

नई तकनीक अपनाएं

नई तकनीक केवल उपकरणों के मामले में ही नहीं, जीवन जीने के बारे में भी अपनानी चाहिए, तभी बेहतर जीवन जी सकते हैं। हम नई तकनीक वाली कार और नई तकनीक के फोन पर ही अटक जाते हैं और नई तकनीक से सांस लेने के बारे में सोचने का वक्त ही नहीं है हमारे पास। हम दूसरों की खुशी में अपनी खुशी पाने की तकनीक भी खोते जा रहे हैं, जबकि हमें वैसी तकनीक तलाशनी चाहिए, जो हमें सुख प्रदान करे।

संगीत शक्ति देता है
संगीत में हमें शक्ति देने और नई ऊर्जा से भर देने की अपार ताकत मौजूद है, लेकिन हमने गाना-बजाना और नृत्य करना कम कर दिया है। मेरी ऊर्जा का एक खास स्रोत संगीत है, और कई तरह का संगीत मैं सुनता हूं, जिनमें से कई तो मुझे समझ में भी नहीं आता, लेकिन फिर भी आनंद देता है। संगीत में एक और शक्ति है और वह शक्ति है एकात्मकता पैदा करने की।

हमारे जीवन का लक्ष्य है आनंद की प्राप्ति और अहिंसा तथा शांति के बिना वह संभव नहीं है। हमारे पास जो है, उससे संतुष्ट हुए बिना हम हर तरीके से साधन जुटाने में लगे हैं। और यह हमारे दुख का कारण बन जाता है। मैंने तय कर लिया है कि मैं खुश रहूंगा और मैं खुश हूं। आप भी यह करके देखिए।

(लाइव हिंदुस्तान के सौजन्य से) 

Innate Gifts

  By Azim Jamal

          

       You are a miracle endowed with great gifts. No one is like you.

• Finding your innate birth gift can lead you to be a genius.
• You find your innate gift through meditation, authenticity and exploring your natural abilities.
• Live an authentic life by being true to yourself.
• Know your personal and corporate brand.
• A clear view of your mission and vision invites clarity and focus.
• Shared vision creates a buy-in from everyone involved.
• Do not underestimate other people’s capabilities. Engage your team by fully tapping into their innate gifts.
• Align different departments and different parts of your lives to create harmony.
• Be grounded in ethics and principles.
• Diversity of gifts is strength.
• You are the source of your innate gifts, your happiness as well as your sorrows.

http://www.speakingtree.in 

A gentleman’s guide to restaurant etiquette

Vinita Dawra Nangia

Once you know the rules of fine dining, there is no awkwardness in enjoying the meal and company. Perhaps there is a lesson in here for Saif

When you pick a restaurant, you choose not just the cuisine, but an entire experience. If you are feeling loud and boisterous, you opt for a pub or discotheque; if you crave a meaningful conversation, you choose a quiet bar, and if you wish to peoplewatch, you visit a 24-hour diner. But if you want a luxury meal in luxurious environs, you’d choose an expensive restaurant whose exclusivity and high-priced menu ensure a comfortable, secure environ and an experience to cherish. 

You don’t necessarily need a library for peace and quiet, as Saif Ali Khan argued with South African businessman Iqbal Meer Sharma last fortnight, before proceeding to knock his nose in. 

Most high-end restaurants are particular about the clientele they entertain in order to maintain whispered luxury that money alone can buy. For, when you dole out huge amounts, you are paying not just for the food, but for exclusivity and a unique experience. And when that faith is shattered, you feel cheated. 

When Sharma visited Japanese restaurant Wasabi at a Mumbai five star with his family, he did not expect a boisterous set of How to choose the perfect life partner! Bollywood celebrities to take centre stage. When they disturbed him with loud talk and laughter, he did the right thing by politely protesting before management. Not once, but thrice. 

Unfortunately, that had no impact on the boisterous bunch, who had probably decided that their celebrity status entitled them to carry along an atmosphere they wished. Wrong thinking. Not just a powerful star but a nawab to boot; how could Saif accept the diktat of a faceless businessman? He reacted — and the rest is reams of newspaper copy and audio-visual footage! 

The incident throws up interesting questions about restaurant etiquette. Was it right for the businessman to protest against the noisy table? Did Saif and company have the right to behave like they did? Should the restaurant have insisted on basic norms of discipline? Did they reserve the right to ask them to leave if they didn’t comply? 

How should a gentleman behave in a restaurant? Here is a guide: 

Choose a restaurant befitting your mood and that of your guests.

Book a table in advance. Do not hesitate to ask if you can expect a quiet meal.

Dress appropriately and arrive on time.

Always stand up when a lady joins you at the table, or when she leaves it.

At no point should you engage in loud arguments with the waiter or manager. If unhappy with anything, have an unobtrusive word to deal with it.

Do not wave cutlery around to emphasise a point or use a toothpick at the table.

Do not snap your fingers to call the waiter.

Do not be so loud that you disturb conversations at adjoining tables.

If disturbed by fellow diners or children, quietly complain to the manager, who should ideally deal with the situation effectively.

Be attentive to people at your table, listen to them and let them order their meal before you order yours.

Once seated, unfold the napkin and use it occasionally to wipe the tips of your fingers or mouth. At the end of the meal, leave your napkin folded on the left side of the plate.

Know your cutlery and glasses.

Bring food to your mouth, not your mouth to the food.

Loud slurping or munching sounds are a definite no.

Never stretch across for a dish; request for it to be passed to you.

You can rest your fork and knife on either side of the plate in between your meal. After the meal, place them side by side in the centre of the plate in the 4:20 position, fork tines up.

Do not talk with your mouth full or swivel your drink glass around.

Do not get drunk! A gentleman doesn’t go beyond one drink at a restaurant.

Never use your cell phone at the table.

Deal with any discrepancy in the bill quietly but effectively.

Do not appear to ponder too long over the bill or tip.

Resist using the fingerbowl like a washbasin. Dip your fingertips and bring them gently to your mouth.

Practise dining etiquette to enhance your enjoyment of the food and company!

Courtesy: Times of India

You are perfectly imperfect!

You are perfectly imperfect!

Vinita Dawra Nangia

To achieve perfection is not to be rigid and obsessive, but to let go and be yourself

You are perfectly average, quips the happy-go-lucky Kareena Kapoor to the uptight Imran Khan in Ek Main aur Ekk Tu. Understandably, he doesn’t know how to respond! To be average is anathema, but to be perfect at anything is considered wonderful — even if it is perfection at being average! 

Cut to Black Swan, a movie I recently saw again on TV. Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman), a ballerina competing for the lead role in Swan Lake, is found unsuitable for the dark role. She is too “frigid” and “perfect” in her performance. The director, Thomas Leroy advises her to stop being a perfectionist and to lose herself in her role, preferring passion over flawless technique. “Perfection is not just about control,” he says. “It is also about letting go…” 

We tend to look at perfection as achieving a ten on ten, doing something so well that it couldn’t be bettered! Such perfection spells the end of endeavour, of dreams, of aspiration. If in your mind you are perfect, the rest of life can at best be spent in maintaining and nurturing this perfection — that flawless skin, the perfect figure, the perfect score, that inimitable performance, a perfect musical rhythm or that perfect moment in time. Anything less would be disappointing. 

Why does perfection need to be a punishing routine, leading to obsessive, rigid behaviour? Why should it rely heavily on judgement, and exclude normal life? Obviously, it isn’t meant to be a human trait. Human beings are designed to have flaws; perfection is meant for the Gods. 

The quest for perfection actually is a search for certainty, for a sense of control. Anything that stays within specified limits is under our control. The moment shapes shift and take on a life of their own, we lose control and hence, power. We force ourselves to conform to set practices and standards to the extent we forget our true selves in the quest to be “perfect.” Here then is a new look at perfection. Let’s call it the perfectly imperfect! Perfectly normal. A letting go of rigidity, of fastidiousness, the obsession of being the best. To achieve perfection is not to be obsessive and punishing; it is a letting go and allowing natural flaws to be as they are. It is perfectly fine to be perfectly average! Imperfection is fluid, perfection is cast in stone. Progress requires imperfection. Cultures around the world have embraced the concept of the perfect imperfect, often introducing deliberate flaws in works of art, either for religious or aesthetic reasons. The world famous Amish quilt makers deliberately leave an imperfection in their quilts because God alone can be perfect. Turkish shipbuilders and carpet weavers reportedly do the same to remind themselves that perfection is the sole prerogative of Allah. One of the central principles of Islamic art is not to compete with God for perfection. 

Great sculptors in India always deliberately left a flaw in the statues they carved — controlled imperfection. If a sculptor was making a Nataraja, for example, and it was too near perfection, he would introduce a flaw, mostly breaking a toe or introducing a mark that spoilt the perfection a bit. This was true of all arts. In one sense, it is believed that all that the Mother Goddess creates is perfect, but pure perfection can only be She herself. 

Every Persian carpet included a God’s knot to indicate the weaver wasn’t even attempting perfection. Navajo rug weavers believe that the slight imperfection allows a route to creativity. 

The Japanese principle of wabisabi is well known — beauty that is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. Asymmetry and irregularity are deliberately introduced by the Japanese as a necessary ingredient of art. Zen potters deliberately leave glaze drips on pots as “controlled” imperfections to reinforce that “perfect is boring.” 

Nina in Swan Lake, when in complete touch with her dark side and no longer the rigid innocent, gives a sterling performance, after which she says, “I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.” 

Courtesy: Times of India