An incident form Swamiji's life which shows how he overcame a personal crisis and gloom to take a plunge into the path of God realization.
In 1884, Vishwanath Datta (Narendranath's father) suddenly passed away, plunging the whole family into grief and poverty. He was the only earning member of the family, and being of a prodigal nature, he spent lavishly and left the family in debt.
Everywhere the door was slammed in his (Vivekananda's) face. Friends turned into enemies in an instant. Creditors began knocking at the door. Temptations came. Two rich women made proposals to him to end his poverty, and he turned them down with scorn. Often he went without food so that others at home might have a better share. He was face to face with realities and the world appeared to him to be the creation of a devil.
Nevertheless, the protégé of Sri Ramakrishna did not lose his faith in God and divine mercy. Every morning, taking His name he got up and went in search of a job. One day his devout mother overheard him and said bitterly: "Hush, you fool, you have been crying yourself hoarse for God from your childhood. What has He done for you?" Narendranath was stung to the quick, and began doubting the existence of God.
One evening, after a whole day's fast and exposure to rain, Narendranath was returning home with tired limbs and a jaded mind. Overpowered with exhaustion, he sat down on the outer plinth of a roadside house in a dazed condition. Various thoughts crowded into his mind. He was too weak to drive them off and concentrate on any particular thing.
Suddenly he felt that, by some divine power, the coverings of his soul were being removed one after another. His doubts regarding the coexistence of divine justice and mercy and the presence of misery in the creation of a benign providence were automatically sloved. He felt completely refreshed and full of mental peace. He decided to become a monk, renouncing the world.
He even fixed a date for it. Sri Ramakrishna came to Calcutta that day. Narendranath went to have his blessings, and accompanied the Master to Dakshineswar. There, in a state of spiritual trance, Sri Ramakrishna began to sing a touching song which brought tears to the eyes of both. The meaning of the song was very clear, for it revealed that the Master had known the disciple's decision even without being told of it. But Sri Ramakrishna persuaded Narendranath to stay in the world as long as he himself lived.
Thus, with infinite patience, Sri Ramakrishna calmed the rebellious spirit of Narendranath and led him from doubt to certainty and from anguish of mind to spiritual bliss. More than Sri Ramakrishna's spiritual guidance and support, it was his love for him that bound Narendranath to him for ever. Narendranath, too, in turn reciprocated in full measure the love and trust of the Master. (Life of Swami Vivekananda, http://rkmathnagpur.org/)
