How much is enough?

Vinita Dawra Nangia

Not many of us are aware of what is enough to make us happy. In our dizzily consumerist culture, we make ourselves miserable in the pursuit of more than enough without pausing to think of what we really need

They say the right time to stop eating is just before your stomach is full, because it takes a while for the stomach’s message of satiation to reach the brain. So, if you wait till you feel full, you will already have eaten more than what was enough for you. If you are smart, you will be able to figure out that the right time to stop is while still hungry. If only Deputy Collector Nitish Thakur had heeded that message, he may not have found himself become a shining statistic on our country’s ever-burgeoning corruption stakes — one of the biggest graft catches in India ever!

Thirty-six properties and assets worth 118 cr, 10 luxury cars…. Come on, how much does a man need? When we were kids, a game of Ludo, a carom board, a set of playing cards and some playing dough seemed good enough entertainment. Today, the best battery-operated toys, gizmos and games are acquired from around the world only to be outdated the moment new stuff gets launched. Xbox seemed good enough till Xbox 360 was announced. The iPod, iPad, laptop, car, and TV are all enough only till slightly more updated versions are launched. In a dizzily consumerist culture, we are not allowed to feel satisfied, and are conditioned to want more, no matter what we already have. And that ‘more’ always exceeds ‘enough’. The problem is that we allow a hyper-consumerist culture to dictate our needs and definition of enough. It is important to understand that what is enough for one person may just be the first milestone in the journey of desire for another.

Why covet what another has when you may have no need for it? So then how do you know what is enough for you? Just the bare necessities of life? Food, shelter, clothing stabilise things enough to make us reach for something beyond, which marks the difference between existing and living. In order to live well and be on top of life, you need that extra something. That X-factor varies from person to person.

For one it could be money, for another travel, for yet another, the challenge of forming and running a business. A sense of adventure may attract some, while others may be charmed by the idea of a life of meditative calm — reading, thinking, writing, interacting with friends and loved ones. But the end result everyone seeks by aiming at ‘enough’ is the same — happiness.

When you have what you deem is enough, the one thing it will make you is happy. Or, so you think. So when you keep shifting your goal post of ‘enough’, you also keep shifting back the time when you will be happy and satisfied. How do we decide what is enough? This can be best done backwards, starting with the end result. Once the basic needs are taken care of, think about what makes you really happy? And in order to be in that space, what do you really need — money, space and time for yourself ? People around you? Helping those less fortunate? Some talent or skill? Are you earning as much as you need or pushing yourself to get more than ‘enough’? What for? If you were to give up that extra shove and instead, spend that time to pursue what makes you really happy, would your life be better? After all, it would be silly to love money for the sake of it?

Are you aware of what you are pursuing all that money for? What do you want it to do for you?

Remember Leo Tolstoy’s popular Russian story “How much land does a man need?” Pahom, a peasant dies exhausted in pursuit of his dream of owning large areas of land. He is rich finally, but now all the land he needs -- is a six-foot long grave!

Courtesy: The Sunday Times of India

जीने की कला ने पहुंचाया शीर्ष पर

प्रकाश हिन्दुस्तानी

सरलता श्री श्री रविशंकर की सबसे बड़ी पूँजी है। यही थाती उन्हें नागरिक समाज से लेकर संत समाज में समान रूप से आदर व सम्मान का पात्र बनाती है। हमारे दौर में जब कभी भी कोई संकट राष्ट्र व मानवता के सामने खड़ा हुआ, श्री श्री उसका हल तलाशने में जुट गए। फिलहाल लोकपाल मसले पर अपनी सक्रियता के लिए वह सुर्खियों में हैं।

रवि शंकर रत्नम समाजसेवी अन्ना हजारे के समर्थक और सहयोगी हैं। वह महर्षि महेश योगी के शिष्य थे। उन्होंने 26 साल की उम्र में 1982 में आर्ट ऑफ लिविंग की स्थापना की थी। आज इसकी शाखाएं 152 देशों में है। वर्ष 2010 में प्रतिष्ठित पत्रिका फोर्ब्स ने उन्हें भारत का पांचवां सबसे प्रभावशाली व्यक्ति बताया था। उन्होंने दलाई लामा के साथ जेनेवा में भी एक संस्था खोली है, जो गरीबों की मदद करती है। सितार वादक रवि शंकर ने एक बार उन पर आरोप लगाया था कि योगी रवि शंकर उनकी ख्याति का लाभ उठा रहे हैं, तब उनके शिष्यों ने उन्हें ‘श्री श्री रवि शंकर’ नाम दिया। अपने शिष्यों में वह ‘श्री श्री’ के नाम से ही पहचाने जाते हैं। उनकी संस्थाएं करोड़ों रुपये सेवा कार्यों पर खर्च करती हैं।
गंगा-यमुना के सफाई अभियान से भी श्री श्री जुड़े रहे हैं। योग क्रिया ‘सुदर्शन क्रिया’ को आजमाकर उसके माध्यम से लाखों लोगों को प्रभावित करने वाले ‘श्री श्री’ की सफलता के कुछ सूत्र:

बचपन को मत भूलो
आप कितने भी बड़े हो जाएं, मगर अपने बचपन को न भूलें। बचपन की सहजता, मासूमियत और ईमानदारी को कलेजे से लगाए रखें। इससे आप हमेशा तनावमुक्त और अपनत्व से भरे रह सकते हैं। श्री श्री अब भी अपने आप को बच्चा ही कहते हैं। ऐसा बच्चा, जो शरीर से बड़ा हो चुका है, लेकिन मन से पूरी तरह निश्छल है। अगर बचपन की कोई कटुता मन में है, तो उसे निकाल देने में ही भलाई होती है। अपने बचपन को याद करने के अलावा आप अपने आसपास के बच्चों से भी बहुत कुछ सीख सकते हैं।

सहजता ही अध्यात्म है
श्री श्री कहते हैं, मैंने जीवन में कुछ भी ऐसा नहीं किया है, जो सहज नहीं है या बनावटी है। बनावटीपन और आडंबर तो बोझ की तरह होते हैं, जिन्हें ढोना पड़ता है। मेरे लिए सहज रहना अध्यात्म का ही एक अंग है। यही मेरी जीवन शैली है। मैं सहज और सरल जीवन जीता हूं और इसी में खुश हूं। मेरी सलाह पर हजारों लोगों ने जीवन जीने का यही मार्ग चुना है और वे सभी इससे खुश हैं।

यथार्थ को स्वीकारें
सहज-सरल जीवन जीने का तरीका यह है कि ‘एक्सेप्ट द सिचुएशन एज इट इज।’ इसका मतलब यह नहीं है कि आप गलत बातों का समर्थन करें, बल्कि इसका अर्थ यह है कि आप गलत बात की तह में जाने की कोशिश करें और उसे दूर करें। अगर आप किसी समस्या में फंस गए हैं, तो वहीं रहना यथार्थ नहीं है, बल्कि आप हालात को समझकर समस्या से निजात पाएं, तो आप ज्यादा सहज जीवन जी सकते हैं।

हंसो, पर फंसो मत
हमेशा हंसने यानी प्रसन्न रहने की दशा तभी आ सकती है, जब आप कहीं भी फंसे न हों। हमेशा विवादों से दूर रहने की कोशिश करनी चाहिए। अगर विवाद की दशा आ ही जाए, तो जितनी जल्दी हो सके, उससे बाहर निकालने की कोशिश करें। अपनी ऊर्जा का हमेशा सकारात्मक उपयोग आप तभी कर सकते हैं, जब आप तनावरहित और प्रसन्नचित्त हों।

शाश्वत कुछ भी नहीं

जीवन का कोई भी नियम शाश्वत नहीं है। दूध पीना अच्छा होता है, पर हमेशा अच्छा नहीं। कई रोगी दूध पीकर और बड़े रोगी हो सकते हैं। जहर किसी की जान ले सकता है, लेकिन जहर से ही कई जीवन रक्षक दवाइयां बनती हैं। डीडीटी का आविष्कार करने वाले वैज्ञानिक को नोबेल प्राइज दिया गया था, आज डीडीटी दुनिया के अधिकांश देशों में प्रतिबंधित है। कोई भी बात हर व्यक्ति के लिए और हर काल में अच्छी ही हो, यह जरूरी नहीं। इसलिए बात-बात पर शोक मनाना अच्छी आदत नहीं है।

मुफ्त कुछ भी नहीं

प्रकृति ने हमें हमारी सबसे बहुमूल्य वस्तु मुफ्त में दी है ऑक्सीजन, लेकिन हम उसका मोल कहां समझ पाते हैं? कोई भी वस्तु मुफ्त में दो, तो उसका महत्व लोग नहीं समझते, इसलिए शुल्क लेना जरूरी है, और उस आय से वही वस्तु उन लोगों को मुफ्त उपलब्ध कराना जरूरी है, जिसकी उन्हें सख्त जरूरत हो। यह व्यवसाय नहीं, समाज का हित करने के लिए है। इसीलिएं ‘आर्ट ऑफ लिविंग’ के लिए शुल्क रखा गया है।

नई तकनीक अपनाएं

नई तकनीक केवल उपकरणों के मामले में ही नहीं, जीवन जीने के बारे में भी अपनानी चाहिए, तभी बेहतर जीवन जी सकते हैं। हम नई तकनीक वाली कार और नई तकनीक के फोन पर ही अटक जाते हैं और नई तकनीक से सांस लेने के बारे में सोचने का वक्त ही नहीं है हमारे पास। हम दूसरों की खुशी में अपनी खुशी पाने की तकनीक भी खोते जा रहे हैं, जबकि हमें वैसी तकनीक तलाशनी चाहिए, जो हमें सुख प्रदान करे।

संगीत शक्ति देता है
संगीत में हमें शक्ति देने और नई ऊर्जा से भर देने की अपार ताकत मौजूद है, लेकिन हमने गाना-बजाना और नृत्य करना कम कर दिया है। मेरी ऊर्जा का एक खास स्रोत संगीत है, और कई तरह का संगीत मैं सुनता हूं, जिनमें से कई तो मुझे समझ में भी नहीं आता, लेकिन फिर भी आनंद देता है। संगीत में एक और शक्ति है और वह शक्ति है एकात्मकता पैदा करने की।

हमारे जीवन का लक्ष्य है आनंद की प्राप्ति और अहिंसा तथा शांति के बिना वह संभव नहीं है। हमारे पास जो है, उससे संतुष्ट हुए बिना हम हर तरीके से साधन जुटाने में लगे हैं। और यह हमारे दुख का कारण बन जाता है। मैंने तय कर लिया है कि मैं खुश रहूंगा और मैं खुश हूं। आप भी यह करके देखिए।

(लाइव हिंदुस्तान के सौजन्य से) 

Innate Gifts

  By Azim Jamal

          

       You are a miracle endowed with great gifts. No one is like you.

• Finding your innate birth gift can lead you to be a genius.
• You find your innate gift through meditation, authenticity and exploring your natural abilities.
• Live an authentic life by being true to yourself.
• Know your personal and corporate brand.
• A clear view of your mission and vision invites clarity and focus.
• Shared vision creates a buy-in from everyone involved.
• Do not underestimate other people’s capabilities. Engage your team by fully tapping into their innate gifts.
• Align different departments and different parts of your lives to create harmony.
• Be grounded in ethics and principles.
• Diversity of gifts is strength.
• You are the source of your innate gifts, your happiness as well as your sorrows.

http://www.speakingtree.in 

A gentleman’s guide to restaurant etiquette

Vinita Dawra Nangia

Once you know the rules of fine dining, there is no awkwardness in enjoying the meal and company. Perhaps there is a lesson in here for Saif

When you pick a restaurant, you choose not just the cuisine, but an entire experience. If you are feeling loud and boisterous, you opt for a pub or discotheque; if you crave a meaningful conversation, you choose a quiet bar, and if you wish to peoplewatch, you visit a 24-hour diner. But if you want a luxury meal in luxurious environs, you’d choose an expensive restaurant whose exclusivity and high-priced menu ensure a comfortable, secure environ and an experience to cherish. 

You don’t necessarily need a library for peace and quiet, as Saif Ali Khan argued with South African businessman Iqbal Meer Sharma last fortnight, before proceeding to knock his nose in. 

Most high-end restaurants are particular about the clientele they entertain in order to maintain whispered luxury that money alone can buy. For, when you dole out huge amounts, you are paying not just for the food, but for exclusivity and a unique experience. And when that faith is shattered, you feel cheated. 

When Sharma visited Japanese restaurant Wasabi at a Mumbai five star with his family, he did not expect a boisterous set of How to choose the perfect life partner! Bollywood celebrities to take centre stage. When they disturbed him with loud talk and laughter, he did the right thing by politely protesting before management. Not once, but thrice. 

Unfortunately, that had no impact on the boisterous bunch, who had probably decided that their celebrity status entitled them to carry along an atmosphere they wished. Wrong thinking. Not just a powerful star but a nawab to boot; how could Saif accept the diktat of a faceless businessman? He reacted — and the rest is reams of newspaper copy and audio-visual footage! 

The incident throws up interesting questions about restaurant etiquette. Was it right for the businessman to protest against the noisy table? Did Saif and company have the right to behave like they did? Should the restaurant have insisted on basic norms of discipline? Did they reserve the right to ask them to leave if they didn’t comply? 

How should a gentleman behave in a restaurant? Here is a guide: 

Choose a restaurant befitting your mood and that of your guests.

Book a table in advance. Do not hesitate to ask if you can expect a quiet meal.

Dress appropriately and arrive on time.

Always stand up when a lady joins you at the table, or when she leaves it.

At no point should you engage in loud arguments with the waiter or manager. If unhappy with anything, have an unobtrusive word to deal with it.

Do not wave cutlery around to emphasise a point or use a toothpick at the table.

Do not snap your fingers to call the waiter.

Do not be so loud that you disturb conversations at adjoining tables.

If disturbed by fellow diners or children, quietly complain to the manager, who should ideally deal with the situation effectively.

Be attentive to people at your table, listen to them and let them order their meal before you order yours.

Once seated, unfold the napkin and use it occasionally to wipe the tips of your fingers or mouth. At the end of the meal, leave your napkin folded on the left side of the plate.

Know your cutlery and glasses.

Bring food to your mouth, not your mouth to the food.

Loud slurping or munching sounds are a definite no.

Never stretch across for a dish; request for it to be passed to you.

You can rest your fork and knife on either side of the plate in between your meal. After the meal, place them side by side in the centre of the plate in the 4:20 position, fork tines up.

Do not talk with your mouth full or swivel your drink glass around.

Do not get drunk! A gentleman doesn’t go beyond one drink at a restaurant.

Never use your cell phone at the table.

Deal with any discrepancy in the bill quietly but effectively.

Do not appear to ponder too long over the bill or tip.

Resist using the fingerbowl like a washbasin. Dip your fingertips and bring them gently to your mouth.

Practise dining etiquette to enhance your enjoyment of the food and company!

Courtesy: Times of India

You are perfectly imperfect!

You are perfectly imperfect!

Vinita Dawra Nangia

To achieve perfection is not to be rigid and obsessive, but to let go and be yourself

You are perfectly average, quips the happy-go-lucky Kareena Kapoor to the uptight Imran Khan in Ek Main aur Ekk Tu. Understandably, he doesn’t know how to respond! To be average is anathema, but to be perfect at anything is considered wonderful — even if it is perfection at being average! 

Cut to Black Swan, a movie I recently saw again on TV. Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman), a ballerina competing for the lead role in Swan Lake, is found unsuitable for the dark role. She is too “frigid” and “perfect” in her performance. The director, Thomas Leroy advises her to stop being a perfectionist and to lose herself in her role, preferring passion over flawless technique. “Perfection is not just about control,” he says. “It is also about letting go…” 

We tend to look at perfection as achieving a ten on ten, doing something so well that it couldn’t be bettered! Such perfection spells the end of endeavour, of dreams, of aspiration. If in your mind you are perfect, the rest of life can at best be spent in maintaining and nurturing this perfection — that flawless skin, the perfect figure, the perfect score, that inimitable performance, a perfect musical rhythm or that perfect moment in time. Anything less would be disappointing. 

Why does perfection need to be a punishing routine, leading to obsessive, rigid behaviour? Why should it rely heavily on judgement, and exclude normal life? Obviously, it isn’t meant to be a human trait. Human beings are designed to have flaws; perfection is meant for the Gods. 

The quest for perfection actually is a search for certainty, for a sense of control. Anything that stays within specified limits is under our control. The moment shapes shift and take on a life of their own, we lose control and hence, power. We force ourselves to conform to set practices and standards to the extent we forget our true selves in the quest to be “perfect.” Here then is a new look at perfection. Let’s call it the perfectly imperfect! Perfectly normal. A letting go of rigidity, of fastidiousness, the obsession of being the best. To achieve perfection is not to be obsessive and punishing; it is a letting go and allowing natural flaws to be as they are. It is perfectly fine to be perfectly average! Imperfection is fluid, perfection is cast in stone. Progress requires imperfection. Cultures around the world have embraced the concept of the perfect imperfect, often introducing deliberate flaws in works of art, either for religious or aesthetic reasons. The world famous Amish quilt makers deliberately leave an imperfection in their quilts because God alone can be perfect. Turkish shipbuilders and carpet weavers reportedly do the same to remind themselves that perfection is the sole prerogative of Allah. One of the central principles of Islamic art is not to compete with God for perfection. 

Great sculptors in India always deliberately left a flaw in the statues they carved — controlled imperfection. If a sculptor was making a Nataraja, for example, and it was too near perfection, he would introduce a flaw, mostly breaking a toe or introducing a mark that spoilt the perfection a bit. This was true of all arts. In one sense, it is believed that all that the Mother Goddess creates is perfect, but pure perfection can only be She herself. 

Every Persian carpet included a God’s knot to indicate the weaver wasn’t even attempting perfection. Navajo rug weavers believe that the slight imperfection allows a route to creativity. 

The Japanese principle of wabisabi is well known — beauty that is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. Asymmetry and irregularity are deliberately introduced by the Japanese as a necessary ingredient of art. Zen potters deliberately leave glaze drips on pots as “controlled” imperfections to reinforce that “perfect is boring.” 

Nina in Swan Lake, when in complete touch with her dark side and no longer the rigid innocent, gives a sterling performance, after which she says, “I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.” 

Courtesy: Times of India

World Bank honours Sarath Babu Elumalai, a Chennai food entrepreneur

NEW YORK: A slum boy who now owns a food industry empire in Chennai - thanks to his poverty stricken mother who sold idlis on pavements to educate him - was honoured at a youth conference of the World Bank for his entrepreneurship and leadership skills. 

Sarath Babu Elumalai was among the three youth invited from across the globe for the Bank's annual flagship event, the Global Youth Conference, to engage the broader development of community with youth around the world. 

The theme of this year's conference was Youth Unemployment: Empowering Solutions through Innovation and Inclusion. 

Convened by youth experts and advocates, the conference was webcast internally and externally, with online participants from over 20 countries. 

Ronan Farrow, advisor on Youth Issues to US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton addressed the participants. The conference was also webcast internally and externally, with online participants from over 20 countries. 

Sarath Babu told PTI in Jersey City here that at one time he struggled to continue his school education due to poverty. 

His mother who worked as a low grade servant at the State Government nutritious noon meal scheme project decided to make idlis and sell them in a pavement shop to educate her son. 

Babu did not disappoint her and got admission in merit at BITS-Pilani for a Chemical Engineering degree and landed in top-notch Indian Institute of Management-Ahmedabad for an MBA. 

Today, the 30-year-old youth who was wallowing in abject poverty in the prime of his youth, employs around 300 people mostly from the poor strata of the society and his multi-crore Food King restaurant and catering business has crossed Chennai and operates in Hyderabad and Jaipur as well. 

"I was born and raised in a slum in Madipakkam in Chennai. I have two elder sisters and two younger brothers and my mother was the sole breadwinner of the family," Babu told the gathering at the conference moving some of them into tears. 

"It was really tough for my mother to bring up five kids on her meager salary. She sold Idlis in the mornings, worked for the mid-day meal at the school during daytime and taught at the adult education programme of the Indian government, thus doing three different jobs to bring us up and educate us. We went hungry many a days and I know the impact of hunger," 

After graduating from IIM-A, Babu had setup "Food King" -a food catering services in 2006 with the vision to offer employment to illiterate and semi-illiterate people and improve their standard of living. 

"I put values ahead of money and power. And I have learnt it the hard way, rising up from delivering idlis prepared by my mother."

Source: The Economic Times

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