A gentleman’s guide to restaurant etiquette

Vinita Dawra Nangia

Once you know the rules of fine dining, there is no awkwardness in enjoying the meal and company. Perhaps there is a lesson in here for Saif

When you pick a restaurant, you choose not just the cuisine, but an entire experience. If you are feeling loud and boisterous, you opt for a pub or discotheque; if you crave a meaningful conversation, you choose a quiet bar, and if you wish to peoplewatch, you visit a 24-hour diner. But if you want a luxury meal in luxurious environs, you’d choose an expensive restaurant whose exclusivity and high-priced menu ensure a comfortable, secure environ and an experience to cherish. 

You don’t necessarily need a library for peace and quiet, as Saif Ali Khan argued with South African businessman Iqbal Meer Sharma last fortnight, before proceeding to knock his nose in. 

Most high-end restaurants are particular about the clientele they entertain in order to maintain whispered luxury that money alone can buy. For, when you dole out huge amounts, you are paying not just for the food, but for exclusivity and a unique experience. And when that faith is shattered, you feel cheated. 

When Sharma visited Japanese restaurant Wasabi at a Mumbai five star with his family, he did not expect a boisterous set of How to choose the perfect life partner! Bollywood celebrities to take centre stage. When they disturbed him with loud talk and laughter, he did the right thing by politely protesting before management. Not once, but thrice. 

Unfortunately, that had no impact on the boisterous bunch, who had probably decided that their celebrity status entitled them to carry along an atmosphere they wished. Wrong thinking. Not just a powerful star but a nawab to boot; how could Saif accept the diktat of a faceless businessman? He reacted — and the rest is reams of newspaper copy and audio-visual footage! 

The incident throws up interesting questions about restaurant etiquette. Was it right for the businessman to protest against the noisy table? Did Saif and company have the right to behave like they did? Should the restaurant have insisted on basic norms of discipline? Did they reserve the right to ask them to leave if they didn’t comply? 

How should a gentleman behave in a restaurant? Here is a guide: 

Choose a restaurant befitting your mood and that of your guests.

Book a table in advance. Do not hesitate to ask if you can expect a quiet meal.

Dress appropriately and arrive on time.

Always stand up when a lady joins you at the table, or when she leaves it.

At no point should you engage in loud arguments with the waiter or manager. If unhappy with anything, have an unobtrusive word to deal with it.

Do not wave cutlery around to emphasise a point or use a toothpick at the table.

Do not snap your fingers to call the waiter.

Do not be so loud that you disturb conversations at adjoining tables.

If disturbed by fellow diners or children, quietly complain to the manager, who should ideally deal with the situation effectively.

Be attentive to people at your table, listen to them and let them order their meal before you order yours.

Once seated, unfold the napkin and use it occasionally to wipe the tips of your fingers or mouth. At the end of the meal, leave your napkin folded on the left side of the plate.

Know your cutlery and glasses.

Bring food to your mouth, not your mouth to the food.

Loud slurping or munching sounds are a definite no.

Never stretch across for a dish; request for it to be passed to you.

You can rest your fork and knife on either side of the plate in between your meal. After the meal, place them side by side in the centre of the plate in the 4:20 position, fork tines up.

Do not talk with your mouth full or swivel your drink glass around.

Do not get drunk! A gentleman doesn’t go beyond one drink at a restaurant.

Never use your cell phone at the table.

Deal with any discrepancy in the bill quietly but effectively.

Do not appear to ponder too long over the bill or tip.

Resist using the fingerbowl like a washbasin. Dip your fingertips and bring them gently to your mouth.

Practise dining etiquette to enhance your enjoyment of the food and company!

Courtesy: Times of India

You are perfectly imperfect!

You are perfectly imperfect!

Vinita Dawra Nangia

To achieve perfection is not to be rigid and obsessive, but to let go and be yourself

You are perfectly average, quips the happy-go-lucky Kareena Kapoor to the uptight Imran Khan in Ek Main aur Ekk Tu. Understandably, he doesn’t know how to respond! To be average is anathema, but to be perfect at anything is considered wonderful — even if it is perfection at being average! 

Cut to Black Swan, a movie I recently saw again on TV. Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman), a ballerina competing for the lead role in Swan Lake, is found unsuitable for the dark role. She is too “frigid” and “perfect” in her performance. The director, Thomas Leroy advises her to stop being a perfectionist and to lose herself in her role, preferring passion over flawless technique. “Perfection is not just about control,” he says. “It is also about letting go…” 

We tend to look at perfection as achieving a ten on ten, doing something so well that it couldn’t be bettered! Such perfection spells the end of endeavour, of dreams, of aspiration. If in your mind you are perfect, the rest of life can at best be spent in maintaining and nurturing this perfection — that flawless skin, the perfect figure, the perfect score, that inimitable performance, a perfect musical rhythm or that perfect moment in time. Anything less would be disappointing. 

Why does perfection need to be a punishing routine, leading to obsessive, rigid behaviour? Why should it rely heavily on judgement, and exclude normal life? Obviously, it isn’t meant to be a human trait. Human beings are designed to have flaws; perfection is meant for the Gods. 

The quest for perfection actually is a search for certainty, for a sense of control. Anything that stays within specified limits is under our control. The moment shapes shift and take on a life of their own, we lose control and hence, power. We force ourselves to conform to set practices and standards to the extent we forget our true selves in the quest to be “perfect.” Here then is a new look at perfection. Let’s call it the perfectly imperfect! Perfectly normal. A letting go of rigidity, of fastidiousness, the obsession of being the best. To achieve perfection is not to be obsessive and punishing; it is a letting go and allowing natural flaws to be as they are. It is perfectly fine to be perfectly average! Imperfection is fluid, perfection is cast in stone. Progress requires imperfection. Cultures around the world have embraced the concept of the perfect imperfect, often introducing deliberate flaws in works of art, either for religious or aesthetic reasons. The world famous Amish quilt makers deliberately leave an imperfection in their quilts because God alone can be perfect. Turkish shipbuilders and carpet weavers reportedly do the same to remind themselves that perfection is the sole prerogative of Allah. One of the central principles of Islamic art is not to compete with God for perfection. 

Great sculptors in India always deliberately left a flaw in the statues they carved — controlled imperfection. If a sculptor was making a Nataraja, for example, and it was too near perfection, he would introduce a flaw, mostly breaking a toe or introducing a mark that spoilt the perfection a bit. This was true of all arts. In one sense, it is believed that all that the Mother Goddess creates is perfect, but pure perfection can only be She herself. 

Every Persian carpet included a God’s knot to indicate the weaver wasn’t even attempting perfection. Navajo rug weavers believe that the slight imperfection allows a route to creativity. 

The Japanese principle of wabisabi is well known — beauty that is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. Asymmetry and irregularity are deliberately introduced by the Japanese as a necessary ingredient of art. Zen potters deliberately leave glaze drips on pots as “controlled” imperfections to reinforce that “perfect is boring.” 

Nina in Swan Lake, when in complete touch with her dark side and no longer the rigid innocent, gives a sterling performance, after which she says, “I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.” 

Courtesy: Times of India

World Bank honours Sarath Babu Elumalai, a Chennai food entrepreneur

NEW YORK: A slum boy who now owns a food industry empire in Chennai - thanks to his poverty stricken mother who sold idlis on pavements to educate him - was honoured at a youth conference of the World Bank for his entrepreneurship and leadership skills. 

Sarath Babu Elumalai was among the three youth invited from across the globe for the Bank's annual flagship event, the Global Youth Conference, to engage the broader development of community with youth around the world. 

The theme of this year's conference was Youth Unemployment: Empowering Solutions through Innovation and Inclusion. 

Convened by youth experts and advocates, the conference was webcast internally and externally, with online participants from over 20 countries. 

Ronan Farrow, advisor on Youth Issues to US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton addressed the participants. The conference was also webcast internally and externally, with online participants from over 20 countries. 

Sarath Babu told PTI in Jersey City here that at one time he struggled to continue his school education due to poverty. 

His mother who worked as a low grade servant at the State Government nutritious noon meal scheme project decided to make idlis and sell them in a pavement shop to educate her son. 

Babu did not disappoint her and got admission in merit at BITS-Pilani for a Chemical Engineering degree and landed in top-notch Indian Institute of Management-Ahmedabad for an MBA. 

Today, the 30-year-old youth who was wallowing in abject poverty in the prime of his youth, employs around 300 people mostly from the poor strata of the society and his multi-crore Food King restaurant and catering business has crossed Chennai and operates in Hyderabad and Jaipur as well. 

"I was born and raised in a slum in Madipakkam in Chennai. I have two elder sisters and two younger brothers and my mother was the sole breadwinner of the family," Babu told the gathering at the conference moving some of them into tears. 

"It was really tough for my mother to bring up five kids on her meager salary. She sold Idlis in the mornings, worked for the mid-day meal at the school during daytime and taught at the adult education programme of the Indian government, thus doing three different jobs to bring us up and educate us. We went hungry many a days and I know the impact of hunger," 

After graduating from IIM-A, Babu had setup "Food King" -a food catering services in 2006 with the vision to offer employment to illiterate and semi-illiterate people and improve their standard of living. 

"I put values ahead of money and power. And I have learnt it the hard way, rising up from delivering idlis prepared by my mother."

Source: The Economic Times

हर पल हर दिन कुछ नया...

हर पल हर दिन कुछ नया...

अनोखा कर दिखने को

कुछ कदम आगे बढ़ने को 

कुछ गीत गुनगुनाने को

कुछ खुशियां बांटने को 

कुछ हरि-ध्यान लगाने को 

अपने आप सजाने को 

अपनी तकदीर बनाने को 

                                        - विनीत 'रामानंद' 

Now read Bhagavad Gita from right to left!

SWATHI. V 

The Hindu, Feb 21, 2012

In mundane imagination, a book titled ‘Naghme Ilahi' will perhaps invoke the image of classical Sufi saints in ecstasy of God's praise. But hardly does it occur to even the most devout Hindus that the title literally translates into ‘Bhagavad Gita'!

If this Urdu translation of the hymn from Hindu mythology raises many eyebrows, the translator S.T. Venkata Appala Chari, who achieved this task at 74 surprises many more. Now 83, Mr. Chari, who retired as the Statistical Officer in the Education Department long ago, claims that his is the most authentic Urdu translation of the hymn. “I finished the work in one year, and got it published in 2003. In 18 chapters, it contains the translation of the meanings of 700 slokas,” said Mr.Chari.

The job was not as simple as said. Effort to script the slokas in Urdu failed due to many differences between the languages in terms of pronunciation. Barriers were encountered in translating a few words such as ‘Parashakthi' and ‘Paramapadam', and in explaining the relevance of a few mythological characters. These were effectively addressed by providing a glossary. “During Mughal period, the Bhagavad Gita was translated into Persian tongue. There have been a few recent Urdu translations too, but not very meaningful ones. I am satisfied that my translation is faithful to the original,” Mr. Chari says.

The Nawabi tongue came more naturally to Mr.Chari than either Telugu or Sanskrit, as he had studied up to graduation with Urdu as language medium.

“I owe my penchant for and knowledge of Urdu to my high school teacher, Khadar Husain Khan, who would call me ‘111' referring to my Vaishnavite symbols,” he recalled fondly.

The octogenarian is now busy working on the manuscript of a 50-year-old Telugu-Urdu dictionary.

Courtesy: http://www.thehindu.com

Bhaja Govindam is the the immortal composition of Adi Sankaracharya, 10 verses of this hymn divinely rendedered by MS Subbulakshmi.
It is said that Adi Shankaracharya, accompanied by his disciples, was walking along a street in Varanasi one day when he came across an aged scholar teaching the rules of Sanskrit grammar to his students by rote. Taking pity on him, Adi Shankaracharya went up to the scholar and advised him not to waste his time on grammar at his age but to turn his mind to God in worship and adoration, which became the origin for this hymn.

Mumukshu Musings

15 Feb 2012
"worldly fools search for exotic masters, not
realizing that their own mind is the master."

5 Steps to Healthier Living by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Health is not merely absence of disease. Health is being established in the *Self. It is the dynamic expression of life. One can be said to be in a perfect state of health when one is physically fit, mentally calm and emotionally steady. So how does one achieve this state of all-round health in today's fast-paced life? As we get ready to ring in 2012, here are a few steps we can take to help improve our health and the quality of our lives.

Know About Your "Self"

We need to know a little bit about the different layers of our existence -- body, breath, mind, intellect, memory, ego and the self. When we understand that the body and mind are connected through the breath, we are in a better position to manage our thoughts and emotions. The awareness that everything changes -- the body undergoes changes and so does the mind -- brings a sense of equanimity within us. The mind is the sense of perception in your consciousness and the thoughts that change all the time. Likewise, the intellect, memory, and ego also change with time. But there is something within us that does not change -- it is the point of reference through which we are able to recognize that everything else changes. This subtlest, unchanging aspect of our existence is the self. The ancient science of Ayurveda deems that a person cannot be called truly healthy, until one is in touch with this subtlest aspect, and there is harmony among the different layers of existence. This knowledge of the self helps one live in the present moment and be in a state of perfect health.

Spend some time to learn about yourself. Take a week off one to two times a year and align yourself with nature. Wake up with sunrise, practice yoga, eat light food, and spend some time creatively.

Make Meditation a Part of Your Life

Meditation is a vital ingredient for personal development. It provides deep rest. The deeper one is able to rest, the more dynamic one will be in activity. For sustainable good health, meditation is key.

What is meditation? It can mean different things to different people. It is anything we can do to achieve a mind without agitation, hesitation, or anticipation. It can be a hundred times more refreshing than sleep because it helps us live in the present moment and frees us from anger about the past and worry about the future. It gives us depth and stability.

Spend 20 minutes in the morning and evening in meditation, and make it a part of everyday life.

Learn About the Breath

Our first act in this world is to take a deep breath in, and our last act will be taking a deep breath out. Breathing is life. Yet, we are typically not taught -- at home or at school -- about the importance of the breath and its impact on the mind and body.

Observe how you breathe. There are different patterns that relate to different emotions. Just as your mind influences the breath, you can influence the state of your mind through the breath as well. Breathing techniques like **Pranayamas and Sudarshan Kriya can help us calm our minds and emotions. We can control negative emotions like anger and fear, and manage stress levels using the breath.

Eat Right

The type and amount of food that we consume has a direct impact on the state of our physical body, and consequently our mind. Observe what you eat. Fresh fruits and vegetables have more prana (life force), while frozen and canned foods have very little prana.

Eating the right types and amounts of food promotes all-around wellbeing and can increase energy levels that can help us manage stress more effectively.

Make Time for Yourself

In this modern age, we all seem to be constantly engaged in gathering information, or performing some mental activity all the time. We seldom take time for ourselves to think and reflect. As a result, there is information overload, and we can feel dull and tired.

The moments of stillness in our mind are the moments of creativity and innovation. Silence heals and rejuvenates our minds. Sometime during the day, sit silently for a few minutes with your eyes closed and reflect upon the meaning and purpose of your life.

www.artofliving.org

“The Song of the Sannyasin” -by Swami Vivekananda

Few only know the truth. The rest will hate
And laugh at thee, great one; but pay no heed.
Go thou, the free, from place to place, and help
Them out of darkness, Maya's veil. Without
The fear of pain or search for pleasure, go
Beyond them both, Sannyasin bold !

Say—
"Om Tat Sat, Om!"