Rāma Bāni Jan 22, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Success is to do what you want to do, and to be what you want to be…
The first question is do you know what you want? Do you want anything at all? Do you really need that thing? The second is why you want that thing. The third one you should ask yourself is what's stopping you from getting it….to be what you want to be. Truth is now and here. You don't have to wait. Dale Carnegie rightly said "The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore."
RĀMA BĀNI January 22, 2012
Self discipline is very important for achieving one's goals. The amount of self discipline one has depends on self awareness and one's ability to live the reality. Discipline is difficult to master as it calls for attention to one's thoughts and behavior and willingness to sacrifice the lower goals for the higher ones. Unless a person has tremendous faith in himself, it is not possible to be disciplined. A person who sees himself in poor light, one who is often critical about his abilities, often comparing himself with others or looks at himself through the eyes of others can not generate enough self faith to produce the spirit of self sacrifice and discipline. Therefore, the key to self discipline is accepting and approving of oneself with open arms.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Secret of My Longevity- by Khushwant Singh
Sweet and sour
Coming on to 98 years and still earning more than I did in my younger days, people ask me how I manage to do it. They regard me as an expert on longevity. I have pronounced on the subject before: I will repeat it with suitable amendments based on my experiences in the past two years.
Earlier I had written that longevity is in one's genes: children of long-living parents are likely to live longer than those born of short-lived parents. This did not happen in my own family. My parents who died at 90 and 94 had five children, four sons and a daughter.
The first to go was the youngest of the siblings. Next went my sister who was the fourth. My elder brother who was three years older than me went a couple of years ago. Two of us remain. I, who will soon be 98, and my younger brother, a retired Brigadier three years younger than me and in much better health. He looks after our ancestral property. Nevertheless, I still believe gene is the most important factor in determining one's life-span.
Devise ways
More important than analysing longevity is to cope with old age and make terms with it. As we grow older, we are less able to exercise our limbs. We have to devise ways to keep them active. Right into my middle eighties, I played tennis every morning, did the rounds of Lodhi gardens in winter and spent an hour in the swimming pool in summer. I am unable to do this anymore.
The best way to overcome this handicap is regular massages. I have tried different kinds of massages and was disappointed with the oil drip and smearing of oil on the body. A good massage needs powerful hands going all over one's body from the skull to the toes. I have this done at least once a day or at times twice a day. I am convinced that this has kept me going for so long.
Equally important is the need to cut down drastically one's intake of food and drink. I start my mornings with a glass of guava juice. It is tastier and more health-giving than orange or any other fruit juice. My breakfast is one scrambled egg on toast. My lunch is usually patli kichri with dahi or a vegetable. I skip afternoon tea. In the evening I take a peg of Single Malt Whisky. It gives me a false appetite! Before I eat my supper, I say to myself "don't eat too much".
I also believe that a meal should have just one kind of vegetable or meat followed by a pinch of chooran. It is best to eat alone and in silence. Talking while eating does not do justice to the food and you swallow a lot of it. For me no more Punjabi or Mughlai food. I find south Indian idli, sambar and grated coconut easier to digest and healthier.
Never allow yourself to be constipated. The stomach is a storehouse of all kinds of ailments. Our sedantry life tends to make us constipated. Keep your bowels clean by whatever means you can: by lexatives, enemas, glycerine suppositories —whatever Bapu Gandhi fully understood the need to keep bowels clean. Besides, taking an enema every day, he gave enemas to his women admirers.
Impose a strict discipline on your daily routine. If necessary, use a stop-watch. I have breakfast exactly at 6.30 am. lunch at noon, drink at 7 pm, supper at 8 pm.
Try to develop piece of mind. For this you must have a healthy bank account. Shortage of money can be very demoralising. It does not have to be in crores, but enough for your future needs and possibility of falling ill. Never lose your temper. It takes a heavy toll and jangles one's nerves. Never
tell a lie. Always keep your national motto in mind: Satyamev Jayate - only truth triumphs.
Give away generously. Remember you cannot take it with you. You may give it to your children, your servants or in charity. You will feel better. There is joy in giving. Drive out envy of those who have done better than you in life. A Punjabi verse sums up:
Rookhi sookhy khai kay Thanda paani pee
Na veykh paraayee chonparian Na tarsaain jee
(Eat dry bread and drink cold water
Pay no heed or envy those who smear their chapatis with ghee.)
Do not conform to the tradition of old people spending time in prayer and long hours in places of worship. That amounts to conceding defeat. Instead take up a hobby like gardening, growing bonsai, helping children of your neighbourhood with their homework.
A practice which I have found very effective is to fix my gaze on the flame of candle, empty my mind of everything, but in my kind repeat Aum Shanti, Aum Shanti, Aum Shanti. It does work. I am at peace with the world. We can't all be Fawja Singh who as 100 runs a marathon race, but we can equal him in longevity, creativity. I wish all my readers long, healthy lives full of happiness.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything Rama Baan 120112
"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence", said Robert Frost. An educated person respects the diversity of opinion. He enters into an argument with an open mind not to prove his point but to add a new perspective to his understanding of the issue. He has the ability to integrate seemingly contradictory ideas to form a holistic picture. This provides better insights into the nature of the problem and its complexities.
Vineet 'Ramananda'
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Get passionate about life! Vinita Dawra Nangia
Sunday TOI, 18 Dec 2011
Why are some people bounding with energy, while others get exhausted just dealing with everyday life? Where did Dev Anand's indefatigable energy spring from?
Say 'Dev Anand', and the first words that come to mind are "energetic", "evergreen", "forever young" -- epithets associated with the thespian through his life. When he passed away, headlines proclaimed that Bollywood's 'youngest' actor had died at 88!
Sometimes your own reputation can dictate the path of your life, and Dev Anand loved his evergreen, youthful, energetic image, working hard at living up to it. When he was diagnosed with hernia, he reveals in his autobiography Romancing with Life (Penguin), he refused to get operated in India fearing his fans would think that the "'evergreen', 'forever young' man of unstinted energy, gifted by the Gods with eternal youth…..was but an ordinary mortal like them all..!"
Extraordinary mortal that he was, where did Dev Anand's seemingly limitless energy resources come from? What made the man tick and kept him going till the very end? Indeed, why is it that some people seem to have boundless energy, while others struggle to even get through daily life?
I would say the answer lies in one word – passion. And of course in what you do with that passion. It is passion that spells the difference between existing and living life to the hilt, for passion allows one to plunge the depths and reach the heights of life. It gives an intensity and an edge to experiences that mere existence could never do. It stirs up creative juices and creates a buzz around you, thus attracting positivity and more action. This is what creates those extra reserves of energy that some people seem to possess.
Most of us lay claim to some passion, but creating the right resonance with it depends on how you choose to deal it. Obviously a passion enjoyed piecemeal and intermittently will not yield the same benefits as one that you allow to completely take over your life. Most of us do not allow ourselves to be swept away by our passion, allowing reason and an ingrained sense of balance and commitments to overwhelm passion. And then comes that one man who allows himself to be subsumed, indeed totally consumed by his passion. He is the one who ends up leaving a mark …..his footprints in the sands of time. He is the genius, the inventor, the discoverer or the enduring artist…
Dev Anand was one such man who lived his passion out completely. He gave in to the luxury of indulging his passion to the exclusion of all else. He lived to make films and said so openly, not seeing any reason to live beyond this indulgence. Family, friends, money – everything else seemed to take second place for him. In his words, he always swam in a current that was both "energizing and intellectually stimulating…", "forever on a plateau of excitement and eternally riding the crest of an optimistic wave." In his autobiography, Dev Anand says, "I have been working ceaselessly for over sixty years with all my creative energies at my command, the excitement of creativity sprouting all the time inside me like so many seedlings, just the way they used to when I first launched myself…"
Surely this is the bottomless well that Dev Anand's eternal youth and boundless energy sprung from? With such excitement stirring you all the time, who needs external stimulants! Allegiance and dedication to a passion gives meaning, excitement and energy to life. Describing his passion bordering on obsession, Dev Anand says in his book, "…when I'm writing, time ceases to be. I forget all about thirst and hunger. The flow of words dictated by the onrush of thoughts is food and drink to me. My excitement is what sustains me."
If passion sustains and feeds energy, what are the factors that sap one of energy? Stress and depression do a good job of enervating one. Other energy zappers are lack of good sleep or food, too much work, grief, negative people, disorganized life, messy spaces, unfinished tasks, jealousy, resentment, anger…
A creative passion is always a good escape from the negative effects of all these enervators. If one is in love with life and totally absorbed with one's passion, there is no time to regret the small stuff. Dev Anand never wasted time mourning a movie that didn't do well at the box office. His nephew Shekhar Kapur gives a rare glimpse into Dev's response to the box office disaster of Ishq, Ishq, Ishq. "He was sad. Reflective. For all of five minutes. …..Ten minutes later ……his eyes were vibrant. His face excited. He was unable to sit down for his excitement." He had got an idea for his next film! Shekhar also talks of how money held no meaning for Dev except to be used for his films. Truly Dev's art was for art's sake, as his romance was for romance' sake!
"One of the significant traits of my character is that I am always in a hurry, and hate laziness of any sort," he wrote in his autobiography. "There is always a terrific pace bubbling inside me. I think fast, I move fast with my decisions. I talk fast and I walk fast."
That's energy for you! A constant flow that feeds upon itself to create yet more energy and positivity, lending beauty to all around!
Dev Anand signed off his autobiography and now, his life too, I'm sure, with the words…."Gaata rahe mera dil…My heart is singing, like it always has been --This is a beautiful world!"
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती Inspiring Poem by Harivansha Rai Bachchan
लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।
नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है,
चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है।
मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है,
चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है।
आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।
डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,
जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है।
मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में,
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में।
मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।
असफलता एक चुनौती है, स्वीकार करो,
क्या कमी रह गई, देखो और सुधार करो।
जब तक न सफल हो, नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,
संघर्ष का मैदान छोड़ मत भागो तुम।
कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती।
-हरिवंशराय बच्चन
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Say Goodbye Without Grief: Talk by Osho
Tung-men Wu did not grieve when his son died. It is difficult not to grieve when somebody you loved so much has died. It is possible only if you have known something of the essential. It is possible only if you have tasted something of the deathless, if you have transcended the accidental. He did not grieve, he was not sad. He was not weeping or crying; he was not broken. He remained just the same as he was before.
The wife was disturbed. She said: No one in the world loved his son as much as you did, why do you not grieve now that he is dead. Ordinarily, this is our logic, that if you love a person too much you will grieve too much when he is gone. The logic is fallacious; the logic has a deep flaw in it. In fact, if you have loved a person really, when he is gone he is gone; you will not grieve much. If you have not loved the person deeply, then you will grieve very much.
Your father dies, or your mother dies. If you have loved him totally while he was alive, you will be able to say goodbye to him without any grief because you loved him. That experience of love was total and fulfilling; nothing is left undone; nothing is hanging over your head. Whatsoever was possible has happened; now you can accept it. What more was possible Even if he had been alive, what more would have been possible. The experience is complete.
Whenever an experience is complete, you are ready to say goodbye easily. But if you have not loved your father as you always wanted to, you have not been respectful towards him as you always wanted to, you will feel guilty. Now the father is gone; now there is no way to fulfill your desire now there is no way to show your respect, your love. Now there is no way, you will feel yourself hanging in the middle, in limbo. You will not be at ease; you cannot say goodbye. You will cry and weep and you will be broken, and you will say that you are broken because your father is dead, but the real thing is something else.
Once an experience is complete, you can get out of it very easily you can just slip out of it as the snake slips out of his old skin. If you love a woman and you have been constantly quarrelling with her, and it never became a deep satisfaction, and she dies... now she will haunt you, her ghost will haunt you for your whole life. While you love a person, if you love him totally there is going to be no misery. Of course, one feels a little sad but it is not grief; one misses a little but one is capable of remaining centered, one is not distracted.
It is the unlived experiences that go on piling up and they become heavy burdens. The problem is that now there is no way. You cannot complete them because the person has disappeared. Whenever an experience is complete, it is a ripe fruit it drops of its own accord. It leaves no scar behind, there is no wound. A Sudden Clash of Thunder.
Man, some people are just RUDE!! (ACY by Sonal Kalra)
HT City, Delhi
27 Nov. 2011
Ask a rude question, and you are bound to get a rude reply. Then, don't cry and say `why this Kolaveri Di?'
I sometimes bump into this woman on my way back from work. Whenever she sees me, she asks me one, and only one question. "You look tired, are you unwell?" For a long time I kept telling myself `aww, how sweet. She is so concerned for me.' And even though I didn't really feel tired or unwell, I would politely reply, `yeah, it's been an awfully tiring day at work'.
But, to be honest, I don't quite enjoy being told everyday that I don't seem okay, and it is now bugging the hell out of me.
Yesterday, she said, `You are getting dark circles under your eyes. Have you been partying too much or are you sick?' I could have gone and fretted in front of the mirror for an hour, but this time I took my face closer to hers and asked, `are they as dark as yours or even worse?' The last I know, she had booked a doctor's appointment for a check-up.
See, I know you are still wondering what's the big deal in what she said, and, in all probability think my reply was rude. Well, yes it was, but so was her question. We, in India, are taught a skewed and rather limited definition of the term `rude', while we are growing up.
We are told that if a person raises his voice or speaks in a harsh, unpleasant way, it is rude.
So we tend to focus only on the packaging of the words and how they are being delivered, more than what is being said! We don't realise that it is totally unacceptable even when the `packaging' is super sweet but the content smacks of nothing but ill-manners.
A colleague of mine was visiting his hometown recently when a woman relative asked him what he does, for a living.
`I work in a newspaper,' he replied. "Achha? Kitna daal lete ho?" she asked. Wondering whether she mistook him for the newspaper vendor (in his place, I would've wondered if she was fond of making obscene remarks!), he stood quiet. And then she elaborated. `Har mahiney kitna daal lete ho bank mein?' (how much goes in your bank every month?). Ahh, so she was asking him about his salary.
No big deal, you may again say.
Damn rude, I think.
Sadly, we see nothing wrong in crossing the boundary and asking fairly personal questions of people, sometimes even strangers. Well, I think it's unfair to put up with them in the name of politeness. Here are some of the rude questions we Indians specialise in asking, as if it's the compulsory thesis for a Phd in ill-manners. Since I don't wish to be seen as advocating rudeness a la `an eye for an eye', I suggest two possible ways of coping up with the question -the polite answer (TPA), and the I-am-taking-you-on answer (TYOA). Choose yours, at your own risk.
1 What's your salary?: TPA: (sheepish smile) "God's been kind. Bas kaam chal jaata hai. It's just the start of the career, but it will get better in a few years...etc etc" (ugh)
TYOA: I'm happy you asked.
Do you want a loan? I charge really high interest but can afford to lend big amounts at a short notice. I didn't know you were having trouble with finances. How much do you need? (disclaimer: don't try with the tribe of chachis, maamis, mausis etc or your parents would kick you out)
2 When are you having kids?
(or in desi style: `good news' kab de rahe ho?) TPA: Smile. `When the right time comes. These things are in God's hands.' (go, cry in a corner)
TYOA: (Looking them in the eye): We are waiting to see how your kids turn out before we decide. And feeling very anxious at the way it's going so far.
3 To the parents/siblings of a girl who got married recently `She's happy, no? (khush toh hai nah?)
TPA: Yeah, she calls me every evening and for two-and-a-half hours, tells me how happy she is.
TYOA: No, yaar. She tried to poison her mother-in-law yesterday but the neighbour's stupid cat drank the milk. I've asked her to wait before the next attempt.
4 Have you noticed that you're getting fat? How much do you weigh?
TPA: (look down embarrassingly): Yeah, don't ask. I'll start working out from this New Year.
TYOA: Shit, really? It totally skipped me because the mirror at home is broken. 450 kgs isn't much. And the paunch is the latest style trend in the west. You should try it, though it's not easy.
5 Why exactly did you break-up?
TPA: We were just not compatible. It was not meant to be.
TYOA: (very seriously): She wanted to try her luck in Hollywood. And I was always in favour of our own cinema. You've got to be patriotic. No? By the way, the idiot-store called. They are running out of you. You better rush.
6 To a heavily pregnant woman: `Oh God, you look huge. Are you having twins?'
TPA: (sheepish): No, just one, a little healthy, I guess.
TYOA: No. Are you?
Okay, fine. My answers above are rude and perhaps you should not try them at all. But I hope you do get the point. Do not venture so much into peoples' personal lives that you leave them awkward and embarrassed when it is you who is at fault here. If they feel like sharing personal stuff with you, they would do so on their own. Let's try and not be experts in ill manners. This is one Phd we should not mind dropping out of, mid-way. What say?
Friday, December 9, 2011
शट योर माउथ-नो मैडम
सूर्यकुमार पांडेय
आज के टाइम के नन्हे-मुन्ने बच्चों का एक पब्लिक स्कूल। मैडम क्लास लेते हुए बोलीं, बच्चो, तुम सब आज मुझे नर्सरी राइम्स सुनाओगे। देन उन्होंने अपनी क्लास के सबसे शरारती बच्चे को खड़ा किया, चलो, कपिल! तुम ट्विंकल-ट्विंकल लिटिल स्टार वाली पोएम सुनाओ। इस पर उस शरारती बच्चे ने झूमते हुए सुनाया : ट्विंकल-ट्विंकल जनलोकपाल/बेदी, भूषण, केजरीवाल/ह्वाट इज करप्श्न, ह्वाट यू आर? अप एबब यूपीए सरकार/बी साइलेंट ऐंड डोंट यू क्राई/ ओवरऑल द पार्लियामेंट इज हाई।
मैडम बोली, वेरी गुड। इसके बाद मैडम ने एक छोटी-सी बच्ची मनीखोजी को डिंगडांग बेल सुनाने को कहा। उस बच्ची ने अत्यंत करुणापूर्ण स्टाइल में सुनाई, डिंगडांग बेल/पूसी इन द जेल/टूजी सेल/गेटिंग बेल/ डिंगडांग बेल/ नाउ ऑल इज वेल।
तभी क्लास के पीछे की बेंच से एक बच्चा खड़े होकर बोला, मैम, मुझे वह बाबा ब्लैक शिप वाली पोएम लर्न है। सुनाऊं! मैडम बोली, सुनाओ। तब उस बच्चे ने बोलना शुरू किया : बाबा श्रीश्री अन्ना कूल/ यस मिस, यस मिस ऑल थ्री गुल/ वन गॉन रालेगान/वन हरिद्वार/ अनोदर बेंगलुरु/ह्वाट इज भ्रष्टाचार?
इस पर क्लास के सारे बच्चे हंसने लग गए। तब मैडम ने एक गर्ल स्टूडेंट को खड़ा किया और डांटते हुए कहा, तुम कल फिर एबसेंट थी। तब उस छोटी-सी बच्ची ने पोएम के फॉर्म में अपने एबसेंट होने का रीजन इस तरह सुनाया : पूसी कैट-पूसी कैट ह्वेयर हैव यू बीन? आइ हैव बीन टू दिल्ली टू लुक ऐट द क्वीन/ पूसी कैट-पूसी कैट ह्वाट सॉ यू देअर/ आई सॉ अ लिटिल माउस सिटिंग ऑन द चेयर।
इसके तुरंत बाद क्लास की एक और चुलबुली बच्ची ने हंप्टी-डंप्टी वाली राइम सुनाई : अग्निवेश-अरविंद सेट ऑन ए वॉल/ अग्निवेश अरविंद हैड ए ग्रेट फॅल/ऑल द कोर कमेटी/ ऑल द अन्ना मैन/ कुड नॉट पुट अग्निवेश अरविंद टुगेदर अगेन। तब टीचर मैडम ने एक और बच्चे को जैक ऐंड जिल वाली नर्सरी राइम सुनाने को बोला। बच्चे ने साभिनय इसका नया वर्जन सुनाया : कलमाडी राजा वेंट इन तिहाड़/ आइज फुल आफ वॉटर/ राजा फेल डाउन ऐंड ब्रोक हिज क्राउन/ ऐंड कलमाडी केम ट्रंबलिंग आफ्टर।
लास्ट में क्लास के महा शरारती बच्चे ने अपनी टीचर मैडम को जॉनी-जॉनी यस पापा का लेटेस्ट वर्जन सुनाया। सुनकर पूरी क्लास तालियां बजाने लग गया ः दिग्गी-दिग्गी/यस मैडम/ स्पीकिंग समथिंग/ यस मैडम/ इज इट आरएसएस/ यस मैडम/ टेलिंग अ लाई/ यस मैडम/शट योर माउथ/ नो मैडम।
http://www.amarujala.com/Vichaar/Aakhiri-Kona/Shut-Your-Mouth-No-madam-6-17-2092.html
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