Speaking Tree: Spiritual Is Being Inwardly Awake

Swami Sukhabodhananda

To live life is to be related and in every relationship there are three factors, the subject, object and their connection.  If the relationship is harmonious, life is harmonious; if not, life is disharmonious. The art of wisely relating to life and heightening the spirit is being spiritual.

Q:But our spirits are low and sometimes high, is it not?
A: If the content of our consciousness is low then our life is low and if the content of our consciousness is high life is high. If our content of consciousness is hurt, jealousy, anger, ego… it pulls us down and if it is love, gratitude, compassion… then one’s life will be high.

Reflect on this story: A washerman was going along with his donkey. In the dark the donkey fell in a pit. The washerman could not stand the cry of the donkey and so he decided to bury it. He started filling the pit with mud. After some time he was taken aback to see the donkey out of the pit. Whenever the mud was thrown, the donkey would shake it off and climb on top of the mud pile and thus it climbed out of the pit. In the same way if people throw muck at you, shake it off and go up. If the content of consciousness is good, every difficulty will be an opportunity for you to grow and if poor, every opportunity will be a difficulty.

Next, are you restless or restful in your daily activities of life? Being restful, being calm, being inwardly silent and not noisy is an important quality of a spiritual being. If one is restless inwardly, mind pollutes perception. If the mind is calm, one sees situations objectively; if disturbed, one sees things in a distorted way. Hence it is said, we don’t live in the objective world, we live in our subjective world. We don’t live in God’s world; we live in our private world of hurts and upsets.

Can you experience anything without the experiencer? When one looks at a flower, we word it, we silently say, I like it or don’t like it and by that inner language, we are not in touch with the flower, we are in touch with our version of the flower, polluted by our internal words, our likes and dislikes. A spiritual way of looking is -- I see an object, without wording an object, and then I am in touch with the object in a different level. If my boss scolds me, I listen to him without any internal words and get objectively what he is saying. But when he scolds me and I am crowded with my thoughts, with my internal words, then the overtone is louder than what is said.

Can I be alert to the sensations that are happening and keep it bright in my awareness? If I interpret it in a particular way, by liking or disliking it, then my sensations become dimmer and internal words becomes louder. I am disconnected with what is and caught up in what should be. What should be is a non-fact and the fact is present sensations. Be with fact and not with non-fact.

To live a life of gratitude is an enlightened way of living. Be grateful and not greedy. If one is grateful, one is sensitive to life; if not, one is sentimental. Being grateful, one will not be egoistic and being sentimental, one becomes egoistic.  Drop the arrogant self to be truly spiritual.

Courtesy: Times of India

O-Zone: The power of zero!

Vinita Dawra Nangia

Zero is the pinnacle, the end of all knowledge. It is a powerful tool that helps us navigate life better!

We have heard that the end of all learning is humility, the realization that we actually know nothing compared to all we need to know! If you believe this, you believe that all learning and knowledge lead you to a feeling of nothingness, a feeling that you are shunya, a zero.

Sounds alarming, but the zero you feel after a lot of learning is a very different place to be in from the zero you feel before you embark on that learning! Recently, some probationers were surprised when a senior bureaucrat told them, “Please walk into my office whenever you need to. I am nothing, I’m a zero.” Used to the pomposity of bureaucracy, they may have been taken aback. But this is how the officer explains her comment, “What I meant was that they should not stand on ceremony or hierarchy with me. In the vast structure of government and the general scheme of things, each one of us is nothing. The
emptier you consider yourself, the more space you have to learn; the more insignificant you believe yourself to be, the more effective you are, and the more receptive you are, the more you absorb from all around. I am as willing to absorb learning from a probationer, as I am from my seniors.”

Impressive! We started talking. We discussed how most problems occur when we fancy ourselves meaningful and substantial. How if we thought we were zeroes, we would have no expectations, and so no disappointments; if we had zero chips on our shoulder, we would not suffer any affront to dignity; if we had zero mental clutter, we wouldn’t suffer from useless feelings of guilt or fear. If we had zero memory, there would be no bitter carry-overs, no half-truths that prevent new learning. A person who comes to a situation with zero understanding or in other words, an open mind, can understand a new situation afresh, encouraging creativity. If we are zero in ego, we don’t take offence easily, while forgiving and forgetting fast. Zero brings peace; it brings a feeling of calmness and power over self and over situations.

Training ourselves to clear the clutter and enjoy the quiet of emptiness helps build better relationships and better lives. Complicated relationships are the result of past baggage; try approaching a situation afresh, forgetting past bitterness and start with a clean slate. In a corporate world, keep a hierarchy-less approach, open your door and learn more about your organization, tuning in with the vibes you feel.

Perhaps, it was not a coincidence that zero was discovered in India by mathematician Aryabhatta. When we meditate we are told to look within into nothingness and to think of nothing. It is in that space that enlightenment comes. The Bhagvad Gita and Vedas talk of the Universe being created out of nothingness, shunya or zero. God in his unmanifest form is also shunya; in his manifest form, He is ananta, or infinite; and so, from zero comes infinity. God was one but manifested in many forms — that is the power of zero!

Keeping your mind a tabula rasa is a great point to begin —- and an equally great point to end at! This is not the zero of ignorance, illiteracy, lack of knowledge or confidence. This zero is the natural outcome of knowledge and supreme wisdom; it is the zero of extreme self-confidence. It is not that you don’t know anything; it is more that you are willing to learn everything! A zero mind is accepting and receives, hears and registers, and notes critical points. It is the abode of peace, quiet, bliss and solitude. It means you have everything, you know everything and yet are willing to begin at the starting point!

A farmer lost a watch in a haystack. He asked a group of children to help him look for it, promising a reward. The children hunted for hours, but couldn’t locate the watch. Sometime later one of them came back and looked again. He found the watch within a few minutes. Asked how he did that, the child said, “I sat still and concentrated. I heard it.”

Courtesy:Times of India 

Spiritual Diary: Start living this moment...

"Start living this moment and you will see that the more you live, the less problems are. When you don't live, the same energy goes sour. The same energy which would have become a flower is stuck; not being allowed to bloom it becomes a thorn in the heart..."-Osho

Courtesy: HT City 

TEENS ‘LONELY’ DESPITE SOCIAL NETWORKING

Violent outbursts and stroppiness mask underlying loneliness and despair among the young and connected, shows a Fortis Healthcare Survey

NEW DELHI: Teen angst is far more real than perceived, with one in five students aged 13 to 19 saying life is not worth living, found Fortis Healthcare’s Teen Suicide Survey of 2,364 school-goers. One in four said their families would be better off without them.

      “Our survey underscored the loneliness and isolation in the Facebook and smartphone era, where teens are connected yet isolated because of the superficiality of the status update,” said Dr Samir Parikh, director of the department of mental health and behavioural sciences at Fortis Healthcare. Social media, in fact, help mask isolation and depression. “They cannot replace empathy and attachment behaviour,” said Dr Parikh. I hate you all and I want to die.” 

Emotional outbursts and raging tantrums accompanied by much door-slamming are pretty much a part of the life of every teenager and, by extension, their friends and family. That’s perhaps why most of us shrug off these rants as melodramatic overreaction to anything and everything and complacently assume that when the hormonal spike peters out, so would the angst.

In most cases, the trauma does vapourise almost instantly and the everything is right with the world in a day or two. Friends and family, however, need to watch out darker signs of underlying hopelessness that could point to an emerging emotional breakdown leading to self-harm and, in some cases, suicide.

     One in three 13 to 19 year olds find life too hard to cope with and one in four think — albeit once in a while — that their families are better off without them, found Fortis Healthcare’s Teen Suicide Survey. For the survey, a representative sample of 2,364 school-going teens were questioned online and interviewed by the department of mental health and behavioural sciences, Fortis Healthcare, which also collated the data.

“The findings highlight the loneliness and social alienation of teenagers even in the era of social networking and instant connectivity,” says Dr Samir Parikh, director, department of department of mental health and behavioural sciences, Fortis Healthcare.

“While Facebook and other social media are an excellent for sharing, it has also led to emotions being reduced to a status update. “Like-dislike’, “I’m low-I’m in a party mood,’’ “friends-frenemy”… The easy labelling has led to the lowering of emotional bonding and empathy that comes with sharing time together, leading to physical isolation and despair even among young people who seem to have more friends than they can keep track of,” says Dr Parikh.

    So intense is the loneliness that one in three — 31% — teens feel that no one can help them with their problems and almost two in three — 62% — not having spoken to anyone about their thoughts and feelings, showed the Fortis Survey. Interestingly, among those who had vented, more than half (55%) turned to their friends for help.

Though dark and dreary moods rarely convert into self harm, there is no taking away from the fact that even with the wide under-reporting — largely because attempt to suicide is punishable with imprisonment under Section 309 of the Indian Penal Code — India has among the highest in the world, with to about 1.87 lakh people killing themselves in 2010. Recognising that attempt at selfharm is driven by despair and helplessness and not criminal intent, the Law Commission of India has recommended that attempt it be decriminalised.

      Most people who hurt themselves are likely to do it before the age of 30. The Registrar General of India’s data shows 3% of causes of death surveyed (2,684 of 95,335) in people 15 years or older were suicide, of which 40% of all suicides in men and 56% in women occurred at ages 15-29 years, reported Vikram Patel from The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine in the Lancet.

      “Emotions are intensified in adolescents by a complex interplay between genetic, biological, psychiatric and psychosocial factors, which take a trigger to push a child over the edge,” says Parikh. These factors hold true across the world, reports another Lancet study on self harm and suicides in teens.

      “You have to watch out for the red flags — looking dejected for a couple of weeks, persistent irritability, social withdrawal etc — and engage with teenagers to ensure they do not get trapped into a vortex of despair,” says Dr Rajesh Sagar, additional professor, department of psychiatry, All India Institute of Medical Sciences, New Delhi.

Courtesy: Hindustan Times

THE SPEAKING TREE: Listening As Spiritual Practice

Marguerite Theophil

If we can tell our story to someone who listens,really listens,we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.Anton Chekov brings home this message poignantly in his short story Misery.Iona Potapov earns his living driving a horse-drawn cab.First to some passengers,then to someone he passes on the street,and finally to a fellow cab driver,this pained man repeatedly attempts to tell the story of his son who died just a week before,but no one wants to listen.

Potapov,we learn,has not really talked to anybody yet.He yearns to tell someone,anyone,about it;how his son suffered,what he said before he died,how he died;the father wants to describe little details of the funeral,of how he went to the hospital to collect his sons clothes.But there is no fellow human being who would listen to his story.

Finally,Iona goes to the stable to feed his mare and begins narrating his story.Chekhov writes,The little mare munches,listens,and breathes on her masters hands, and we feel the desperate sadness in the last words: Iona is carried away,and tells her all about it.

Chekov doesnt lecture us about how sad this is,how wrong;just lays out the story.And we are touched;perhaps shamed.

Listening appears such an easy thing to do,but we know from trying to really listen and trying to be listened to,that it isnt always so.Even those of us who imagine ourselves to be good listeners fall short.If your listening strategy is to launch into commiseration,expressions of sympathy or support,or,heaven help us advising,then you may need to review this.Even telling people Oh yes,that happened to me,too... even if we mean well,may not be the best thing to do.We cut their flow,perhaps through our own need to fix things,our need to get out of the discomfort of anothers pain,our need to appear understanding.And sadly,our needs make us ignore or marginalise the others needs.We need to learn that the greatest gift we can bring to the listening process is ourselves.Yet paradoxically the most important thing to do in order to listen well is to keep ourselves out of the way.

Often children understand better than we do.I once heard a delightful story about a little boy who was late getting home one day.When his mother asked why he was late,he explained that he had stopped to help a friend whose bicycle had broken down.
But you dont know how to fix a bicycle, his mother said.No, the little boy said,But I stopped to be with him while he cried.

Margaret Wheatley,who wrote Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future,has talked about this as an enduring truth: great healing is available when we listen to each other.Listening is such a simple act.It requires us to be present ... we don't have to do anything else.We don't have to advise,or coach,or sound wise.We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.If we can do that,we create moments in which real healing is available.

Real,deep,healing listening can be likened to a spiritual practice that involves developing awareness,some serious un-learning and adopting new practices.Three practices are essential to cultivate for this spiritual discipline : a comfort with silence,non-verbal empathy,and being wholly present to another.

Courtesy: Times of India

How to Control Your Mind? - 9 Easy Steps!

Prof. Pandurangan, V 

What is Mind?: 

What is Mind? Is it part of the Brain? The brain has got physical characteristics which can be visualized, touched, handled and is located inside the skull. There are certain brain control techniques. But what about the mind? It has no physical dimensions. But there appears to be some kind of relationship between the brain and the mind. 

When the brain is non functional, (say when the brain activity is blocked by deep anesthesia or coma), the mind also does not seem to function. Mind is not a gross matter - visible and tangible. The mind can not be seen. The magnitude of the mind cannot be measured. Mind does not require a space to exist. 

Definition of Mind: 

How to define the Mind? The mind is nothing but a “bundle of desires, thoughts, wants and expectations”. As long as a person is alive, he will have the thoughts, desires, wants and expectations. And these are continually changing, minute to minute and day by day. 

If your desires and expectations do not fructify, you are under stress, leading to anxiety, mental tension, frustration and depression. If you want to enjoy stress free life, you need to exercise control over mind. You can not under-estimate the mind powers. 

Mind Control Techniques: 

But how to control your mind? How to control your negative thoughts and desires? Why there is a necessity to control the negative thoughts and desires, thereby attempting to control the mind? Because, the thoughts and desires transform into words and words result in actions. When a person has a lot of negative thoughts, it may lead him to stress, anxiety, depression, negative actions and violent behavior. There are certain mind control techniques / mind control tricks widely practiced, such as Suppression technique and/or Outburst technique, for controlling the mind. 

In the Suppression technique, you are asked to suppress your negative thoughts and desires and not to manifest them. But the fact is, your thoughts and desires are like coiled springs. The more you suppress the coiled spring, the more pressure is built upon it. The moment you let go of your hand even slightly, the coiled spring jumps across much more vigorously. Similarly, the moment you relapse in suppressing your negative thoughts and desires, they come out violently. The situation becomes from bad to worse. 

In the Outburst technique, you are asked to let out your negative thoughts with full force in the open. If you are angry with somebody, you are asked to outburst your anger, say in front of a mirror or in an open park. Once your outburst is over, you may temporarily feel relaxed. But ultimately, this technique leads you to the guilt feeling, which in turn generates a lot of negative thoughts. It is a vicious cycle. These methods employ negative techniques and hence the relief becomes temporary, ultimately leading to more and more negative thoughts, stress, anxiety, cynicism and mental imbalances. 

Other methods involve the techniques called “still the mind” and/or “be a witness to your thoughts”. But for majority of the people (including me), it is very difficult to practice in day to day life, as only a few holy men / yogis can master these techniques. 

Substitution Technique: 

What I recommend and as well as I practice, is the “Substitution” technique. We should understand the nature of mind. As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, mind is the bundle of desires, thoughts and wants. As long as you are alive, your mind will always be with you. Your mind is always filled with thoughts and desires. You can not empty your mind in your day to day life. 

Suppose you enter your bedroom in the night. The room is dark and you can not see anything. Once you switch on the light bulb, the entire room is filled with light and you do not see the darkness. What happened to the darkness? As soon as the light came in, the darkness vanished automatically. You did not attempt to drive away nor suppress the darkness. You only put on the light switch. You enabled the light to come in, which drove away the darkness automatically. Similar is the case with your mind. 

Bring in positive thoughts to your mind, which will automatically drive away your negative thoughts. But the mind can not be empty. Instead of mind full of negative thoughts, substitute them with positive thoughts. When the mind is full of positive thoughts, there is no place for negative thoughts to enter. 

In fact, the phrase “how to control the mind” itself is wrong. It is almost impossible to “control” the mind. The right phrase is “how to regulate the mind”. By practicing the “substitution” technique properly, we can regulate our mind in the day to day life. 

How to practice the “substitution” technique in our daily life? It is not difficult, provided you make a commitment to practice them on a daily basis. There are 9 Steps to practice the “substitution” technique, which I will explain below. 

Step 1 – Keeping Good Company: 

There is a famous quote- “Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are”. Seeking and remaining in good company will keep your mind with positive thoughts. Consider a small example. You are all familiar with mineral water. Imagine that you have a 1-litre bottle which is full of filthy water. You are required to replace the filthy water with clean drinking water, but there is a condition. You can not pour out the filthy water first, wash the bottle and then fill up the bottle with clean water. In such a situation, how can you replace the filthy water with good water? It is very easy. Go to a stream where clean water is flowing. Just keep the water bottle, containing the filthy water, immersed in the stream. 

You will find that after a few minutes, the entire bottle is filled with clean water. How has this happened? The clean water f rom the stream has entered the bottle and driven away the filthy water. You have not done anything extra-ordinary. You have simply brought the filthy water bottle in contact with the stream water. That’s all. Now, compare the water bottle with your Mind. The filthy water can be compared to the negative thoughts and negative desires in your mind. The water stream can be compared with good company (in Sanskrit language, “good company” is called “satsang”). When you remain in the good company, the positive thoughts enter your mind and drive away the negative thoughts. It is similar to the light driving away the darkness in the room. 

Step 2 – Repeat God’s Name Often: 

Choose the name of God you love the most. Whenever you find time, irrespective of where you are, keep on repeating your God’s name mentally. (In Sanskrit, it is called “nama smaran”). God loves music. If you can repeat the name of your God in a musical tune (as per your liking), it is wonderful. This process will drive away your negative thoughts and emotions. 

Step 3 – See Good Sights: 

We should understand one important aspect. Mind can be compared to the CPU of the computer. Whatever we feed in, CPU processes it and gives the output. Garbage in – Garbage out. Quality data in – Quality reports out. The data to the CPU can be fed in through the FIVE input devices, such as the Keyboard, Mouse, Floppy Drive, CD Drive and Pen Drive. Similarly, our FIVE sensory organs, such as the Eyes, Ears, Nose, Mouth and the Hands are the input devices to the Mind. Based on the input information fed by these sensory organs, our Mind reacts. If you see only good sights and positive videos / movies, positive thoughts are developed in the Mind. If you see horror films and negative / filthy programs on the TV (most of TV programs have a lot of these), negative and violent thoughts are developed in the Mind. Read only good and holy books and the books on personality development. Avoid reading horror stories and negative news (newspapers have plenty of them). 

Step 4 – Hear Good Music: 

Tune your ears to hear only good and soothing music and sounds. As far as possible, avoid hearing bad and filthy words, heated arguments and violent shouts. It is better to move away from such places. 

Step 5 – Speak Softly and Positively: 

Always try to speak softly and positively. Don’t hate others. Avoid speaking harsh words. Don’t enter into heated arguments with anybody. It is pertinent to remember Mahatma Gandhi’s reference to the Three Monkeys – First Monkey closing his both EYES with both hands – Don’t see bad sights; the Second Monkey closing his both EARS with both hands – Don’t hear bad sounds; and the Third Monkey closing his MOUTH with both hands – Don’t speak bad words / untruth. 

Step 6 – Eat Moderately: 

Another important aspect which influences your thoughts and the Mind, is the type and quantity of food you eat. A subtler part of the food digested, influences the Mind and the thought process. Always choose nutritious food and eat in moderate quantity. Too much of food not only leads to obesity, but also leads to dullness of the Mind. Avoid alcoholic drinks, cigarettes and drugs, which not only spoil your health, but also adversely affect your Mind. Also avoid stale / pungent food. 

Step 7 – Smell Good Fragrance: 

Try to smell good fragrances, particularly the natural flowers. Avoid / move away from the place where there is a bad / filthy smell. 

Step 8 – Do Good Things: 

Always try to do good things in life. Whenever and wherever you get a chance to help others, however tiny it is, please extend your help. Avoid doing wrong things against your Conscience, as it will lead to guilt feelings in your Mind. 

Step 9 – Go to Good / Holy Places: 

Visit good and holy places. Whenever possible, make a tour to the country-side and / or Mountain ranges, where you can enjoy the natural surroundings. They will refresh your Mind and Heart. Avoid going to gamblers’ dens and other unholy places. 

Try practicing these 9 Habits earnestly and you will feel the difference. Once you learn mind control techniques and practice them effectively, you will always remain in a positive frame of mind, with equanimity and calmness. You can enjoy stress free living. Always remember:

“Hands that Help are Holier, than the Lips that Pray”. 

Courtesy: www.caclubindia.com 

Vedic Mantras: आ नो भद्रा: क्रतवो यन्तु विश्वत: का क्या अर्थ है ?

 मानवीय गुणों के संस्कारों से अनुप्राणित जीवन जीने की व्यवस्था संस्कृति कहलाती है । विश्व परिवार ‘वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम्’ की भावना के साथ सब का हित चिन्तन भारतीय संस्कृति का मूल आधार है । इसीलिए वैदिक ऋषि परंब्रह्म से प्रार्थना करते हैं कि हे प्रभु ! हमें सब ओर से कल्याणकारी विचार प्राप्त हों -

आ नो भद्रा: क्रतवो यन्तु विश्वत: |

 हमारे लि‍ए (न:) सभी ओर से (वि‍श्‍वत:) कल्‍याणकारी (भद्रा:) वि‍चार (क्रतव:) आयें (आयन्‍तु).

Let noble thoughts come to us from every side.
- Rig Veda, I-89-i

सर्वमंगल की कामना करते हुए ऋषि कहते हैं -

सर्वेभवन्तु सुखिन: सर्वे सन्तु निरामया: |
सर्वेभद्राणि पश्यन्तु मा कश्चिद् दु:खभाग भवेत् ||

अर्थात् समस्त प्राणि सुख शान्ति से पूर्ण हों, सभी रोग, व्याधि से मुक्त रहें, किसी के भाग में कोई दुख न आए और सभी कल्याण मार्ग का दर्शन व अनुसरण करें ।

Courtesy: http://hp.gov.in

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God,
Grant me the serenity;
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage, to change the things I can;
And the wisdom, to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.

                                        - Reinhold Niebuhr

Covey's success mantra

P P Wangchuck

Stephen R Covey, who passed away recently, and who can be called the guru of good habit lessons, has left behind powerful lessons in personal management and change.
 

Those who have read his book, 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People', will agree that the entire exercise behind it is to make one point clear: that we need to restore character ethic in our society.

For that, Covey's stress is on self-renewal, and he enables one to "square inner thought and outer behaviour, resulting in personal as well as public integrity."

Self-renewal is surely the most important aspect of keeping yourself growing and relevant. Anything that remains unchanged turns into deadwood.

That is why Covey calls self-renewal the best investment, and it has four dimensions: Physical, mental, social and spiritual. Physical renewal is what most of us do and it requires nutrition, exercise and stress management. The next goes to a higher level--- mental development, requiring one to read, visualise, plan and write. Social and emotional up-gradation involves service, empathy and love towards all.

The last but the most important one is practicing spirituality. It involves meditation, commitment and self-less service.

These are not mere leadership traits but a way to grow and be meaningful in life. Life, after all, is nothing if it is not productive and useful. As George Bernard Shaw said, the greatest joy comes from the feeling that you are being used efficiently and productively. "Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch that I have got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

American spiritual leader N Eldon Tanner too has similar sentiments, "Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth." Great words indeed for all of us to keep in mind and be useful, always.

In the words of Covey, one can be useful only if one can "learn, commit and do"; and again, "learn, commit and do…"

Courtesy: HT