Are you living the good life?

NONA WALIA

Everyone is in pursuit of a good life. But what exactly constitutes a good life? Luxury trimmings, big money, snazzy cubicles, fancy duplexes, BMWs, designer clothes, desirable BMI et al does make one happy for a while; but are they assurances of a happy and fulfilling life in the long run? Psychology Today reports that people who enjoy close ties with friends and family are happier and have fewer health problems than those who don't. These people are more resilient to the stress of our times and with hurdles in their in a far better way. In short, la dolce vita isn't just about material possessions. A recent research at Washington University,St Louis, also indicates the same. Based on years of research, the experts came to the same conclusion: Happiness isn't about money or success. What is it all about then? 

For Ria Chakraborty, housewife, happiness is all about Kolkata monsoons. "People complain about the traffic and the clogged drains but pouring rain is just beautiful to watch. It lifts my mood," she says. Ajit Sharma, a Pune-based software engineer, who stays at a boy's hostel, says, "Everyone is on their own. But when I come back from work, and my friend makes me a cup of tea and sits down to chat with me... that makes me happy. He is busy too but he finds the time to ask. It's heartening, makes me feel good at the end of the day even if it has been shitty." Suchana Sarkar, a Delhi-based marketing professional, says, "Talking till I get breathless makes me happy. As soon as I come back, I have to share my day's stories with my friend or my roommate. I feel a void if I don't get to do that." 

You may think these are momentary pleasures, but it's these small things that make people most happy. Life guru Robin Sharma says, "Ultimately, life goes by in a blink. Material possessions aren't the only route to happiness. Life is a skill. And like any other skill, once you know the ground rules and make time to practise, you can get better. One has to engage in life and live it fully. When you near the end, you shouldn't be left with regret of a life half-lived." 

The next logical question would be: how does one understand whether he or she is leading a good life? In his website, another guru of good living, Jamison Fox, asks a few fundamental questions to make people conscious of the kind of lives they are living. Would you like to be happier, healthier, wealthier, or make the world a better place, he asks. "Impressing others, advancing your career will not give you a very satisfied life. Living a good life is about being happy with what you have, and pursuing your dreams at the same time," says Fox. 

Naysayers may still disagree. They may say that money solves most problems in life. It definitely gives you comfort. That's unchallenged, but the problem is that the pursuit of money is often confused with the pursuit of happiness and vice-versa. 

A team of researchers led by Jordi Quoidbach, from the department of psychology at Harvard University, reported in Psychological Science magazine that wealth does grant us opportunities to purchase many things, but it simultaneously impairs our ability to enjoy them. 

BK Shivani, a Rajyoga meditation teacher, asks, "Why do you go to work? To get the money to pay the bills, buy the food and clothes etc.? That's fine. But why do you want more money than you need? To buy the bigger car because you think these things will make you happy. But are you?" 

Life coach Rohini Singh, also the author of The Only Way Out is Within, says, "Money is a medium, an energy. There are people who have an abundance of it but they still feel empty. They often find themselves wo n d e r i n g what's missing. The answer is happiness. Everyone needs to add to the external factors of well-being. People need to have a sense of purpose, spiritual practice, stillness, time to just be. To live life in gratitude, not giving energy to critics or negativity, going outside the comfort zone to help others gives you the kind of happiness you never hoped to achieve." 

New age guru Deepak Chopra believes becoming more conscious makes people more successful in every sphere of life. "People tend to approach life on a day-today basis, doing three things: Following a set routine; coping with challenges as and when they come up; and fulfilling shortterm desires. By and large, it's routine that dominates. Even the thoughts we have today are generally the same thoughts we had yesterday. The hidden potential in all of us that doesn't get expressed lacks in only one place: your awareness. As you open your awareness, life opens its innumerable possibilities," he says. 

London-based industrialist Bina Goenka believes a good life is about creating one's own parameters of happiness. "You have to understand what drives you as an individual, what inspires the people you work with and how to grow as a unit. Focus on what you love, the restwill take care of itself." 

In his book, Ten Golden Rules on Living the Good Life, Michael Soupios writes, "Worry only about the things that are in your control. Keep your life simple. Seek calming pleasures. Avoid excess and live life in harmony and balance." 

Author, entrepreneur and lifestyle innovator Jonathan Fields, produces a TV show called The Good Life Project that draws inspiration from the real life experiences of acclaimed entrepreneurs, artistes, authors and thought leaders. Says Fields, "A few years ago, I would have said, 'I need to get a good life'. Now, I've come to believe that once your basic needs are covered, life welllived is more about mindset than circumstances. Happiness is not a place you arrive at, it's a lens you bring to the place you are standing right now."

Times of India, Jan 6, 2013