Why are we guilty about giving in to well-deserved fun? It's time to up the fun quotient in our lives!
Each time someone at office asks me for leave, they look hesitant and guilty. I cannot figure out why, because I have never refused anybody leave. I can see no reason for doing so! Even more surprising, almost always the request is accompanied by, "I will do some extra stories before I go on leave…"
That leaves me amused as well as foxed. Why would anyone wish to work extra hard before they leave for fun? Wouldn't they rather unwind and get into the mood for holiday? But then, when it is time for me to take leave, I find myself doing the same! Working extra hard, trying to smooth over creases that haven't appeared yet, stayingconnected not just till the last minute but even in the car or plane on my way out, till I am physically pulled away from the laptop and Blackberry by my family!
Not only are we guilty about our own holidays, we also grudge others theirs. As soon as a prominent politician or bureaucrat proceeds on a holiday, we start hearing murmurs of how the country is in such a dire strait and all our leaders can do is holiday (that too probably on public exchequer)! No sooner does a Bollywood star travel abroad than we start hearing gossip about who has accompanied him and how he will certainly announce abreak-up with his current partner soon as he returns!
Fun is somehow just not ingrained into our system, nor is it accorded avalued place in our cultural ethos. Duty and responsibility take precedence over everything else. Enjoyment is an excess we are taught to do without. Our epics extol the virtues of duty. All characters go through hardships and are never shown having fun, almost as if greatness must meet vicissitudes! Watch any television serial. Each one has elders frowning upon youngsters who attempt to step out from within the family fold for a meal outside, to watch a film, or to go off on a holiday. "Aisa toh kabhi nahi hota hamare yahan" is the constant refrain. The entire effort seems to be focused on not letting anyone break away from set moulds and the call of duty, not even for a short while, lest they be enticed away forever!
Years ago on a visit to Australia, I visited an international magazine office one Friday afternoon only to find it deserted by all except the editor with whom I had an appointment. Seeing my surprise, she smiled and said, "Friday afternoon!" There seemed to be an explanation as well as a slight reproach in her voice. I was told later that I had done the unthinkable by fixing to meet her when I did.
Later, stepping out, I realised that most of Sydney was already in holiday mode, with shirtless men lounging in the sun outside bars, guzzling beer. So, Aussies, beer and Bermudas was no stereotype, I remember thinking and smiling. Come Friday afternoon and the country breaks into holiday mode! Afriend visiting UK last month, wrote to me with a wistful note, "Everyone here lays down their pens, metaphorically speaking, on Friday afternoons and is out enjoying themselves and celebrating the approaching weekend! Why are we so serious in India?"
Yes, why are we so serious? We smile where other cultures guffaw; we talk softly and hesitantly, while others express their opinions in loud, confident tones, and we tread carefully where others stride ahead. Back home of course Fridays are always Frydays, when we work extra hard and extra-long hours to make up for the coming weekend. We are all so guilty of claiming our pleasures!
Blame it on genetic coding or the struggles of a developing nation where nobody can take their status for granted without working for it, but we have never been taught to unwind and relax. In developed countries, people are encouraged to follow their hearts. Add to that our belief in the cycle of birth and rebirth, believing our next life depends on the good karma we garner in this one, and most of us don't want to fritter away that chance of a better next life!
I believe the art of balance is all in every sphere of life. If we are able to balance the fun quotient in our lives as against duties and responsibilities, how could we go wrong? Of course, we need to understand that the opposite of 'fun' isn't 'work'; it's monotony or boredom! Work could be fun too for many. And, the situation seems to be changing for today's youngsters. A generation that uses peers as role models rather than their elders and epics. Connected as they are through social networks with like-minded people across the world, they are more open about their choices, refusing to be limited by parental pressures and demands. They carve out a time for work and a time for fun, and are clear where the two converge and diverge. A perfect balance between work and fun. Maybe soon we will all start becoming less prissy about our fun quotient?!
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