Must Read: Avoid stress in 12 easy steps

Do you find it impossible to switch off and relax? Is the weight of the world always on your shoulders? Do the pressures of study and money worries cause you sleepless nights?

If the answer to these questions is yes, or if you are just feeling a little bit stressed, then you need to learn to relax. The average person spends 27 days a year worrying and feeling stressed, but you can avoid this by adopting one of the following lifestyle changes that are designed to help you chill out.

1.       Have regular massages

Don't be fooled into thinking that massage is merely an indulgence or something you should only treat yourself to once or twice a year. Regular massage is incredibly beneficial - encouraging your muscles to relax and lengthen, improving blood flow, boosting your immune system and, last but not least, making you feel as chilled as a polar bear's cold bits.

2.       Switch off your phone

Mobile phones were designed for one thing only - to disturb people. So switch your phone off, sit back and relax.

3.       Listen to classical music

You might not think you like it, but research carried out at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, found that listening to soothing classical music will help you to calm down and relax. Try it when you get into bed to help you sleep.

4.       Read a good book

Ever wondered why your doctor's surgery is littered with magazines? No, it's not because they are running two hours late - research has actually shown that a good read can do your health a whole lot of good. Health experts and doctors in North Lincolnshire have even gone as far as 'prescribing' books to patients to alleviate their anxiety levels. Participants then present the prescription at their local library and - literally - read themselves well.

We recommend that you read something fun and not related to work - the books that your lecturers 'prescribe' for you during the year are more likely to raise your anxiety levels than alleviate them.

5.       Take up yoga

Is there anything yoga isn't good for? Aside from the numerous benefits to your physique, yoga is also adept at helping you sleep and reducing stress.

6.       Have a nice cup of tea

No, we don't mean the classic English breakfast tea - switch to low-caffeine alternatives such as chamomile or peppermint, and you will soon be reaping the benefits.

7.       Start eating right

Never underestimate the impact your diet has on your health and wellbeing. If you are constantly feeling irritable, unfit and highly-strung, chances are you are fuelling your body with the wrong foods. Cut down on caffeine, alcohol and foods that are high in fat and calories, and you will be feeling much better in no time.

8.       Start working out

Eating right is all well and good, but adding regular exercise sessions will lower your anxiety levels even further. Numerous studies have shown that working up a sweat does wonders for your mental wellbeing, not to mention your sex life, sleep patterns and the obvious physical benefits.

9.       Breathe easy

If you often feel rushed, short of breath or like there are a thousand and one thoughts running through your head at once, then make sure you take time each day to take your body to the other end of the scale. Set aside 20 minutes every day to stop what you are doing, sit down somewhere and meditate. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing until it naturally begins to slow down, leaving you feeling relaxed and in control.

10.   Go box

It may sound surprising, but boxing is in fact a great way to lower your stress levels. Channelling your aggression at a punch bag or your sparring partner will release all your pent-up anger, as well as giving your fitness an overhaul.

11.   Get a pet

Animals seem to have a magical effect on humans, so much so that hospitals and doctors are increasingly using them to treat their patients. It's not always so easy in student accommodation, but keeping a pet can dramatically decrease your stress levels. If you haven't got time for a cat or a dog, even a hamster or goldfish can be a fun addition to your household.

12.   Get back to nature

Dropping the books and escaping from the city, even for a day, and interacting with nature will help you clear your head of muddle and allow you to spend some quality time on your own or with friends.

Courtesy: MSN Lifestyle

Speaking Tree: Spiritual Is Being Inwardly Awake

Swami Sukhabodhananda

To live life is to be related and in every relationship there are three factors, the subject, object and their connection.  If the relationship is harmonious, life is harmonious; if not, life is disharmonious. The art of wisely relating to life and heightening the spirit is being spiritual.

Q:But our spirits are low and sometimes high, is it not?
A: If the content of our consciousness is low then our life is low and if the content of our consciousness is high life is high. If our content of consciousness is hurt, jealousy, anger, ego… it pulls us down and if it is love, gratitude, compassion… then one’s life will be high.

Reflect on this story: A washerman was going along with his donkey. In the dark the donkey fell in a pit. The washerman could not stand the cry of the donkey and so he decided to bury it. He started filling the pit with mud. After some time he was taken aback to see the donkey out of the pit. Whenever the mud was thrown, the donkey would shake it off and climb on top of the mud pile and thus it climbed out of the pit. In the same way if people throw muck at you, shake it off and go up. If the content of consciousness is good, every difficulty will be an opportunity for you to grow and if poor, every opportunity will be a difficulty.

Next, are you restless or restful in your daily activities of life? Being restful, being calm, being inwardly silent and not noisy is an important quality of a spiritual being. If one is restless inwardly, mind pollutes perception. If the mind is calm, one sees situations objectively; if disturbed, one sees things in a distorted way. Hence it is said, we don’t live in the objective world, we live in our subjective world. We don’t live in God’s world; we live in our private world of hurts and upsets.

Can you experience anything without the experiencer? When one looks at a flower, we word it, we silently say, I like it or don’t like it and by that inner language, we are not in touch with the flower, we are in touch with our version of the flower, polluted by our internal words, our likes and dislikes. A spiritual way of looking is -- I see an object, without wording an object, and then I am in touch with the object in a different level. If my boss scolds me, I listen to him without any internal words and get objectively what he is saying. But when he scolds me and I am crowded with my thoughts, with my internal words, then the overtone is louder than what is said.

Can I be alert to the sensations that are happening and keep it bright in my awareness? If I interpret it in a particular way, by liking or disliking it, then my sensations become dimmer and internal words becomes louder. I am disconnected with what is and caught up in what should be. What should be is a non-fact and the fact is present sensations. Be with fact and not with non-fact.

To live a life of gratitude is an enlightened way of living. Be grateful and not greedy. If one is grateful, one is sensitive to life; if not, one is sentimental. Being grateful, one will not be egoistic and being sentimental, one becomes egoistic.  Drop the arrogant self to be truly spiritual.

Courtesy: Times of India

O-Zone: The power of zero!

Vinita Dawra Nangia

Zero is the pinnacle, the end of all knowledge. It is a powerful tool that helps us navigate life better!

We have heard that the end of all learning is humility, the realization that we actually know nothing compared to all we need to know! If you believe this, you believe that all learning and knowledge lead you to a feeling of nothingness, a feeling that you are shunya, a zero.

Sounds alarming, but the zero you feel after a lot of learning is a very different place to be in from the zero you feel before you embark on that learning! Recently, some probationers were surprised when a senior bureaucrat told them, “Please walk into my office whenever you need to. I am nothing, I’m a zero.” Used to the pomposity of bureaucracy, they may have been taken aback. But this is how the officer explains her comment, “What I meant was that they should not stand on ceremony or hierarchy with me. In the vast structure of government and the general scheme of things, each one of us is nothing. The
emptier you consider yourself, the more space you have to learn; the more insignificant you believe yourself to be, the more effective you are, and the more receptive you are, the more you absorb from all around. I am as willing to absorb learning from a probationer, as I am from my seniors.”

Impressive! We started talking. We discussed how most problems occur when we fancy ourselves meaningful and substantial. How if we thought we were zeroes, we would have no expectations, and so no disappointments; if we had zero chips on our shoulder, we would not suffer any affront to dignity; if we had zero mental clutter, we wouldn’t suffer from useless feelings of guilt or fear. If we had zero memory, there would be no bitter carry-overs, no half-truths that prevent new learning. A person who comes to a situation with zero understanding or in other words, an open mind, can understand a new situation afresh, encouraging creativity. If we are zero in ego, we don’t take offence easily, while forgiving and forgetting fast. Zero brings peace; it brings a feeling of calmness and power over self and over situations.

Training ourselves to clear the clutter and enjoy the quiet of emptiness helps build better relationships and better lives. Complicated relationships are the result of past baggage; try approaching a situation afresh, forgetting past bitterness and start with a clean slate. In a corporate world, keep a hierarchy-less approach, open your door and learn more about your organization, tuning in with the vibes you feel.

Perhaps, it was not a coincidence that zero was discovered in India by mathematician Aryabhatta. When we meditate we are told to look within into nothingness and to think of nothing. It is in that space that enlightenment comes. The Bhagvad Gita and Vedas talk of the Universe being created out of nothingness, shunya or zero. God in his unmanifest form is also shunya; in his manifest form, He is ananta, or infinite; and so, from zero comes infinity. God was one but manifested in many forms — that is the power of zero!

Keeping your mind a tabula rasa is a great point to begin —- and an equally great point to end at! This is not the zero of ignorance, illiteracy, lack of knowledge or confidence. This zero is the natural outcome of knowledge and supreme wisdom; it is the zero of extreme self-confidence. It is not that you don’t know anything; it is more that you are willing to learn everything! A zero mind is accepting and receives, hears and registers, and notes critical points. It is the abode of peace, quiet, bliss and solitude. It means you have everything, you know everything and yet are willing to begin at the starting point!

A farmer lost a watch in a haystack. He asked a group of children to help him look for it, promising a reward. The children hunted for hours, but couldn’t locate the watch. Sometime later one of them came back and looked again. He found the watch within a few minutes. Asked how he did that, the child said, “I sat still and concentrated. I heard it.”

Courtesy:Times of India 

Spiritual Diary: Start living this moment...

"Start living this moment and you will see that the more you live, the less problems are. When you don't live, the same energy goes sour. The same energy which would have become a flower is stuck; not being allowed to bloom it becomes a thorn in the heart..."-Osho

Courtesy: HT City 

TEENS ‘LONELY’ DESPITE SOCIAL NETWORKING

Violent outbursts and stroppiness mask underlying loneliness and despair among the young and connected, shows a Fortis Healthcare Survey

NEW DELHI: Teen angst is far more real than perceived, with one in five students aged 13 to 19 saying life is not worth living, found Fortis Healthcare’s Teen Suicide Survey of 2,364 school-goers. One in four said their families would be better off without them.

      “Our survey underscored the loneliness and isolation in the Facebook and smartphone era, where teens are connected yet isolated because of the superficiality of the status update,” said Dr Samir Parikh, director of the department of mental health and behavioural sciences at Fortis Healthcare. Social media, in fact, help mask isolation and depression. “They cannot replace empathy and attachment behaviour,” said Dr Parikh. I hate you all and I want to die.” 

Emotional outbursts and raging tantrums accompanied by much door-slamming are pretty much a part of the life of every teenager and, by extension, their friends and family. That’s perhaps why most of us shrug off these rants as melodramatic overreaction to anything and everything and complacently assume that when the hormonal spike peters out, so would the angst.

In most cases, the trauma does vapourise almost instantly and the everything is right with the world in a day or two. Friends and family, however, need to watch out darker signs of underlying hopelessness that could point to an emerging emotional breakdown leading to self-harm and, in some cases, suicide.

     One in three 13 to 19 year olds find life too hard to cope with and one in four think — albeit once in a while — that their families are better off without them, found Fortis Healthcare’s Teen Suicide Survey. For the survey, a representative sample of 2,364 school-going teens were questioned online and interviewed by the department of mental health and behavioural sciences, Fortis Healthcare, which also collated the data.

“The findings highlight the loneliness and social alienation of teenagers even in the era of social networking and instant connectivity,” says Dr Samir Parikh, director, department of department of mental health and behavioural sciences, Fortis Healthcare.

“While Facebook and other social media are an excellent for sharing, it has also led to emotions being reduced to a status update. “Like-dislike’, “I’m low-I’m in a party mood,’’ “friends-frenemy”… The easy labelling has led to the lowering of emotional bonding and empathy that comes with sharing time together, leading to physical isolation and despair even among young people who seem to have more friends than they can keep track of,” says Dr Parikh.

    So intense is the loneliness that one in three — 31% — teens feel that no one can help them with their problems and almost two in three — 62% — not having spoken to anyone about their thoughts and feelings, showed the Fortis Survey. Interestingly, among those who had vented, more than half (55%) turned to their friends for help.

Though dark and dreary moods rarely convert into self harm, there is no taking away from the fact that even with the wide under-reporting — largely because attempt to suicide is punishable with imprisonment under Section 309 of the Indian Penal Code — India has among the highest in the world, with to about 1.87 lakh people killing themselves in 2010. Recognising that attempt at selfharm is driven by despair and helplessness and not criminal intent, the Law Commission of India has recommended that attempt it be decriminalised.

      Most people who hurt themselves are likely to do it before the age of 30. The Registrar General of India’s data shows 3% of causes of death surveyed (2,684 of 95,335) in people 15 years or older were suicide, of which 40% of all suicides in men and 56% in women occurred at ages 15-29 years, reported Vikram Patel from The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine in the Lancet.

      “Emotions are intensified in adolescents by a complex interplay between genetic, biological, psychiatric and psychosocial factors, which take a trigger to push a child over the edge,” says Parikh. These factors hold true across the world, reports another Lancet study on self harm and suicides in teens.

      “You have to watch out for the red flags — looking dejected for a couple of weeks, persistent irritability, social withdrawal etc — and engage with teenagers to ensure they do not get trapped into a vortex of despair,” says Dr Rajesh Sagar, additional professor, department of psychiatry, All India Institute of Medical Sciences, New Delhi.

Courtesy: Hindustan Times

THE SPEAKING TREE: Listening As Spiritual Practice

Marguerite Theophil

If we can tell our story to someone who listens,really listens,we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.Anton Chekov brings home this message poignantly in his short story Misery.Iona Potapov earns his living driving a horse-drawn cab.First to some passengers,then to someone he passes on the street,and finally to a fellow cab driver,this pained man repeatedly attempts to tell the story of his son who died just a week before,but no one wants to listen.

Potapov,we learn,has not really talked to anybody yet.He yearns to tell someone,anyone,about it;how his son suffered,what he said before he died,how he died;the father wants to describe little details of the funeral,of how he went to the hospital to collect his sons clothes.But there is no fellow human being who would listen to his story.

Finally,Iona goes to the stable to feed his mare and begins narrating his story.Chekhov writes,The little mare munches,listens,and breathes on her masters hands, and we feel the desperate sadness in the last words: Iona is carried away,and tells her all about it.

Chekov doesnt lecture us about how sad this is,how wrong;just lays out the story.And we are touched;perhaps shamed.

Listening appears such an easy thing to do,but we know from trying to really listen and trying to be listened to,that it isnt always so.Even those of us who imagine ourselves to be good listeners fall short.If your listening strategy is to launch into commiseration,expressions of sympathy or support,or,heaven help us advising,then you may need to review this.Even telling people Oh yes,that happened to me,too... even if we mean well,may not be the best thing to do.We cut their flow,perhaps through our own need to fix things,our need to get out of the discomfort of anothers pain,our need to appear understanding.And sadly,our needs make us ignore or marginalise the others needs.We need to learn that the greatest gift we can bring to the listening process is ourselves.Yet paradoxically the most important thing to do in order to listen well is to keep ourselves out of the way.

Often children understand better than we do.I once heard a delightful story about a little boy who was late getting home one day.When his mother asked why he was late,he explained that he had stopped to help a friend whose bicycle had broken down.
But you dont know how to fix a bicycle, his mother said.No, the little boy said,But I stopped to be with him while he cried.

Margaret Wheatley,who wrote Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future,has talked about this as an enduring truth: great healing is available when we listen to each other.Listening is such a simple act.It requires us to be present ... we don't have to do anything else.We don't have to advise,or coach,or sound wise.We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.If we can do that,we create moments in which real healing is available.

Real,deep,healing listening can be likened to a spiritual practice that involves developing awareness,some serious un-learning and adopting new practices.Three practices are essential to cultivate for this spiritual discipline : a comfort with silence,non-verbal empathy,and being wholly present to another.

Courtesy: Times of India